Why it's 17 years? Why I dream of Sakinah before in my Memory before I can walk as a Baby then See her in Kindergarten, isn't she my Soulmate then? If another Girl looks Familiar to me instead the (W), then (A) like a Gift From God kind of feelings. Then isn't all of them actually felt like a Gift From God in my Mind?
Why is my memory like real? Why the M.R.T is like a dream? Why during medication I experience memory loss? What's okay about all these? I just hope to become a Soldier then at least it's imagination of American Life then I really want to be a Stable Job to be able to Migrate to America, I really want such life in America's Love Story, they are felt like a Psychic Knowledge and Soulmate always knowing and in Love with Each Other, I like American Love. It looks very permanent and I admire to become a soldier that's responsible man as view and status immediately, it's like a shortcut, then if I am designated to special sector, it's like a psychological status to support my heart. I remember Jobclub as to make me get a Job and able to Migrate to America.
I'm not saying about "Being Married to American Race" just the Love Story living there looks Real, It's like A True Happiness.
Why is this happening to my life like I got to go through all these kind of missing feelings, I definitely would be busy learning to read Arabic 1 day, I hope Doctors and Wali Allah help me get my Soulmate faster then I know having to be Patient then it definitely Include not having Baby Early as Will Fall Sick, this is understood but it seems not working, they still believe Baby will appear sooner? Even after my 5 years of no cig. In the past the baby would fall sick? Why is my Baby weak if I have early? There's going to be a way like eating vegetable by force? The goal is to be with Soulmate anyway.
I think of investing in buying fruits and vegetables sometimes, I would make my mother cook Kangkung maybe as it's like the only vegetable I eat, or even eat slice of Cabbage even? I want to be healthy and happy faster than psychic and Wali Allah's Knowledge, I plan to be a better man in life everyday. Some days I skip Learning to Speak Mandarin Language is it okay, what did I become better on that day is like I Exercise, I become a better man too. I will be okay I hope.
Did I not feel helpless enough that I require support in my own choice? The energy from this wristwatch, data, really keep rising happiness in my heart. I wonder what kind of life I can build with Simba card, I'm so happy feeling so rich.
If I go out alot i may have chance to bump into my Soulmate? Going out is adventurous this way, I would be okay about it? Would I feel sad? Would she just talk to me and let me feel comfortable?
Today's writings alot like it's the only way to feel nice in life.
I don't know why my memory is like this, it's bad if it's just truly what I feel, it's like my soulmate don't believe me and left me and marry a handicap person, if the requirement is "to leave me" in her heart to have baby with other man, by Wali Allah, then the baby will Handicap anyway as a way for me to hate Sakinah. Why is Knowledge of Wali Allah like this?
I really hope Imam Mahdi appears and gather Muslims together, the togetherness will make me meet my Soulmate, the Difference About "True Muslims" will be clearer and split of Good and "Just Image" will happen, I really hope like this occur in The World. Image can be bought easily and maybe can become able to command people to do stuff too.
I really miss Sakinah.
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