I really hope it's true, soldier jobs wow, then being sent to U.S.A to learn Technology Stuff, I'm finally like A Man? A Soldier? I'm too old but if Soldier it makes me feel younger again, it's like Still Young to Achieve A lot more in Life.
I don't have anything else in mind now if I write it's definitely a repeat. My life is so empty without lover, if I had any I was not quite capable yet, the schizophrenia, the money, I was not strong enough yet, the break-up was nice for their happiness as with me will be seeing me in difficulty it would sadden them more maybe, remember I only recently use phone with this best number 80244202, hahaha, means in the past I can't work would be in difficulty to enjoy with my girlfriend due to schizophrenia and they would live a difficult life if I'm around, it's nice to think they live with more money without me.
If this year is the end - either by jobclub fixed job or soldier job, my happiness definitely can happen before 38 years old too, I just want a stability with income and be like a normal man that work, earn and sleep. Then able to save money before the said "38 years old", maybe I start saving at 37 years old because of jobclub. I really make myself happy and excited again by remembering such things could be true. Maybe it's really 38-41 yrs old is saving $50K but the road to 38 years old, some thousands would still be nice, it's still 8 months to go, and it's too early to work now as I will definitely quit, says the occupational therapist, I definitely agree, I feel weak but then I already went to work that time and my body/health made me quit, It was too rushy and I would probably feel rushy at other jobs and quit too.
I hope I become a much stable man, that's also not a smoker, I want to be healthier. A psychologist maybe if don't smoke I won't smoke too, maybe it's a doctor's decision to keep it known as bad, wonder why it's still for sale in shops then right? The benefit for soldiers is will feel manly and resting moment is smoking moment?
I see my life as have missed so many things and happenings, the road to 37 years old from 20 years old was a lot of memory loss and I kept not thinking of there's no more time left, I felt like have all the time in the world, it was bad, I wasted my time alot in life.
My idea to save money if a smoker is to be a tobacco pipe smoker, then I think I will quit cig. just because wanting a degree and fixed stable job, I think I remember doctor said it's around 3 months to not want cig. anymore if quit cig.? I hope doctor's right again. It would be nice if doctor don't make me feel too much like a patient and just help me with a lot of answers that I need in life, like "what jobs I will work for 6 months straight?", I really want a shortcut to just work it, but jobclub is the plan of doctor I still believe. Wonder what is it requiring "to hit the spot", is it my memory? Is it my believing towards doctors will increase? Is it a psychic thing like something I will remember again that doctor ever said? It's definitely the end of stress once I settle at jobclub - they know best when I can start working again.
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