Don't people fall asleep when happy, comfortable, nice temperature?
Like don't know which is right? Maybe the unhappiness warded at that time causes to sleep for 10 days?
Life is too boring, it's like a collection of meaningless writings anyway, like to hint a stop writing forever instead.
What are people doing are just their daily normal life while I in a dull feeling many times of the days for 17 years.
Like imagine stupidity of my life is actually permanent like for 17 years have passed. I am in a strict ruling why it's not really like Arab and Palestine my life in house?
Does Palestine people have same ambition as me: Technological & Psychology + Soldier, I wonder their pain if not strong to do area of interest.
If Rasullullah s.a.w is the best cook, maybe actually Palestine people should become Chef, I imagine. Like an easy employment exist: like Indonesia goes to Singapore, Philippines goes to Singapore to become Maids. They maybe even will win cooking competition but why would they cook and let someone else taste? Why would they give recipe away? I wonder in my mind. If Bangla work construction, why not Palestine become a Chef? The job of Chef maybe tiring anyway but it could be their area of interest? They maybe prioritize recipe protection? Like what would happen if Palestine opens a company? If Palestine create a business? How would they become as businessman, would they become a structure owner even? It's like their brains are not given permission to do try.
For me I can't business, open a company, become a structure owner because of money, still have lived 17 years long of difficulty looks on purpose as a pain-creation to understand, the only problem to believe if medicine, why they didn't realize like even food can create ease in life - it's not about not given food, it's the exploration to try cooking too, it's limited into normal cooking that's favourite.
Means: if a chicken can be created black pepper to sprinkle and marinate, why I can't do like that?
My life limitation is like a handicap person kind of treatment - a Hikmah like doesn't exist it's an added calling of "secret retardation" in my imagination.
What's the Hikmah from these pain I feel for 17 years long? People have strength to work in an 8 hours calculation while Mental Sickness is Physical Pain definitely hard to believe that they don't care about it?
I really can't think well just living life in a lot of Dua for it to end, and zikir to try but isn't it hard to believe like Palestine was in a war despite their zikir everything, why people don't believe of my thinking as the same like "expectation for it to work" or "occur" is difficult.
Difficulty doesn't really bring money from parents, it's like a schizophrenic war thats maintaining my life while a free pain by not taking alternatives food stuffing into mouth or drinking a lot, why is it like this? Doesn't drinking a lot actually people will know when to stop, if not, will become wanting a lot more? Isn't 1.5L Drink addictive too to be called good as saving money to drink water? Then suddenly drinking a lot as not good and people that drink 4 gallons a day, became blind, who told them to drink so many anyway? Why blindness can be from drinking too much water?
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