Spike Feeling Strong Today

My Mother Didn't Wake Me Up For My Medications and the Spike Feeling Was At My Legs, It Is Surprising How Long It's Been In My Body, And The Feeling Still Exist Even if Just 4 Puffs From That Spiked Cig., This Means The Medicine Created a Hold On The Feelings of The Spike.

Maybe Because I Was Spiked I Wrote Like Previously? I Took Medication At 8.40+ A.M Like That It's So Late Usually 6.55A.M Early or Until 7.30A.M At Least.

I understand the Spike Still Exist And I Can't Do Anything About It.

I Just Remembered Again About Wali Allah Saying "Jadi Askar"(Become Soldier), Means It's True This Year December or November I Will Apply To Become A Soldier When They Knock Doors At Home, It's So Many Years Ago, It's Really My Interest and Ambition - Imagine American Soldier Family Is Lovely. This Created Me Confident That They Are Correct Again About My Future, I Hope It's Somehow Faster That I Can't Be Feeling Bad Doing Cleaning Training and Getting Allowance For Cleaning After Probation Period of 1 Month.

Today I Wear the Health Counter Watch Before 9A.M for the I.M.H Research and Will Receive $40 In Future For This, I Need To Wear For 1 Week.

The Feeling For Cig. is Strong Due To The Spike.

I Really Dislike How I Still Have A Spiked Feeling Inside My Body That Don't Seem Enough And Wanting More of The Feeling or It's Just Better if Gone. I Truly Dislike This Mixture of Feelings. I Wonder Why It's So Strong Until Few Months And Still Around - It's Maybe The Strongest In This Business?

I Don't Know Why I'm Let To Feel Like This, Why I Am Known By Wali Allah or Psychic That I Will Be Difficult About Money And They Let It Be, But To Call Myself Difficult, It's Almost The End Then I.M.H Research Money Resumed My Days of Having Money Still.

Do My Family or Them Understand The Pain As Something Physical and Felt Like Miniature Temperature Inside Body, or Microscopic Temperature Of Pain Inside Body? Why Do I Experience This For 17 Years?

I'm let to wonder if they(psychic and Wali Allah) are True Even after Proven That I Will Use This Phone Number(that's selected at random and after months and year of people signing-up?), The Confidence Is Like Selawat Recitation My Mother Did To Me When I was Still Inside Her Tummy, I Can't Know And Still Wonder While They Are Knowing "The Outcome of Okay" And Letting Me Feel This Way For 17 Years? Because I Did Not Take Medications Then It's My Fault? Why They Don't Do Solution Like Letting Me Spend Time With My Soulmate? Why Does Early Baby Is "Everytime Sick" Too When It's A Strong Young Age? Why Do I Experience This In My Life?

I Only Have To Wait To Be Patient And "Wait for the Moment of Cleaning Training"(Will I Do It Or The Application To Be Soldier Will Appear First)? They Let This Be Too Knowing It's Extra Work Even If I Will Become a Soldier.

This Version of Love and Care is Weird To Me That It Can Be Painful Imagination of Work And Effort I Need To Do.

Why aren't there any Hero-Medicine to End The Spike Too? It's This Medicine Itself? Means I Have To Endure This "Extra Feelings" For So Long(Few Months is Long Because It's A Drug Said As 3 Days Long).

I Hope Somewhere At End October Will Appear About Soldier and What If They Decide Not To Appear In It November Too? Then Psychic and Wali Allah are True That I Just Have to Wait Until December? I Just Need A Job That I Would Work 6 Months Or More So It Means I Have No Problem Working.