Trying to remember

If I remember it will be on news in November that there will be a soldier recruitment for December, and it's for people around my age. I hope it's true why no one energizes me about this, my family don't remember what doctor said.

I have entire next year to learn reading Arabic language, estimating 2 months per book to memorize Iqra, to become 1 year, or 1 month per book, then it's 6 months, 38 years old able to read Arabic language, I hope I can do this well.

My energy is like to zikir "Ya Jabbar, Wajburni" everyday, and on Friday to Selawat a lot. Other than than, "Alhamdulillah Binuri Muhammad" everyday for 30 times and sometimes "lailahailla anta subhanaka ini kuntu minaz zalimin", I hope I become a Wali Allah somehow to know how to get my Soulmate, I know the first required thing is to know Arabic first then have a chance to be a Wali Allah, but I want to be one faster, maybe to zikir like this. First one is for happiness, 2nd is to be liked and 3rd is for difficulties I'm having. Funny but true I want to become a Psychic or Wali Allah so my heart is at peace, it's difficult if have to know Arabic first, I wonder why the rule like that.

I'm low on energy about Jobs, I'm just hopeful Jobclub is not boring for me and I want to do well in it.

I haven't done Mandarin Language Part 27 yet, still waiting for a nicer feeling, if cig. really causing this it's hard I just need to quit cig. I know it will happen 1 day.

I'm still energetic about Soldier Job, I see to apply require diploma at least, I will need to Do My O-Level then Diploma or A-Level then degree I feel this way, I want my life to be a successful man, if it have to be a long way(if doctors not true that no one knocks door to recruit into soldier), I am willing to go through it too. It's the only nice path to feel manly, If I remember correctly, the 6months job I will be doing is As A Soldier, the answer of Doctor that's a psychic, means I should become a soldier but I have no confidence of them appearing to recruit at all, why Doctor let me wait like this, it's like I don't believe about my number then doctor is true, then why can't I just become a psychic and know too, isn't it more comforting?