Boring how Doctor don't talk normally, I feel like asking him my dream definition, yesterday I dreamt of 2 Person Riding Motorcycle and Fall Down In Front Of Me, I Wonder What it Means.
Schizophrenia is like that, a vision we all can see when we dream, then like having images and videos in front of our eyes. Schizophrenia is like Dream-State When We Are Awake At Times.
I Wonder Why Human Eyes can Be Like That, Then I Think Of Being a Foetus Projected Videos & Images as True.
I Ever Dreamt of a Fat Girl Before That I Think Of Her As Mother Of Dajjal Instead, Funny How A Random Girl Thought That Way Because Of The Schizophrenic Feelings I Was In, Maybe She's One Of Wanted By Dajjal To Marry Then or Father of Dajjal Want to Marry? It Was Scary Too.
Voices Heard Today Like An Echo or Someone Using Microphone with Speaker Behind Wall, I Really Was Awaken By It, The Impact Is Like It's A Real Human Voice, I Didn't Think of it as Entity Too, This is The Dream-Reality Mix In My Life, Awake and Still Can Hear, Schizophrenia is Like That. I Truly Want To Recover From It.
Weird Dreams Happens Like Man S*x With A Chicken That's Meant For Cooking Like Baking. It's Really Scary Dream, I Wonder What It Means, If Not To Tell Still Can't Know The Definition Too.
I Wonder What I Should Do To Recover From Schizophrenia, There's Definitely a Secret Other Ways Like Learning Psychology But 20 Years(or more) Doctor Didn't Give A Book To Refer On To Increase Our Knowledge To Counter It Ourself Maybe Due To Our Mind Increased In Power, We Become Stronger Against Our Own Sickness: Schizophrenia? I Really Think This is The Best Idea To Do.
Today I Ate Prata Telur With Path Blocked Having To Use Another Way, Then I Go Home In A Further Walk Too/Instead, It's Like Mental-Check of Smartness Kind Of Test But Construction Work. Don't Know Why I Hope Government Really Knows My Stress and Not Only Doctor, Like Chances To Feel Stronger By Trying To Become A Soldier Kind Of Question From Me, Maybe There's Really No Such Thing and It's All Been A Dream I Thought As Reality Too, Then It Means I Would Work Lobby Crew and As Normal People, Became A Cleaner-Standard Due To Weakness Then It Reflects Like My Intelligence Is Only Like Such Instead? But Cleaner Can Become Wali Allah Too, Definitely 1 Day Someone Will Know The Pain In Body Limited Life Into Like That?
Will I do well in life thinking people feeling I'm abit insane could exist? Like they let me live my life in a way that people knows me to react or reflex differently? Or "According to Theory": "Should Be Like This Because of Schizophrenia"? Why Am I Made To Suffer This Many Years? How Can I Not Think of the Past When I Don't Feel The Years That Passed By Been So Long Then Seeing Myself As 37 Years Old Already As A Shock To Me? Doctor Really Are Nice To Me That I Hope I Can Get Normal Conversation With Doctor But Doctor Like No Time, It's About Dream Definition I Really Want It.
I Don't Understand Why Doctor Pretend To Ask Questions Maybe He Just Looking For The Tone I Will Give When Answering, To Hear Or Verify Something About Me? He Definitely Just Know Because A Psychic. Just My Luck Like Disallowed To Ask Questions But Just To Heed: "Just take Medicine". Wonder when's such free time of doctor for me to hear more stories about my future.
But there's one thing odd in my life, the "missing girl at Vivo City" like I ever knew it before "last year", Means I Thought It's a Dejavu, That Day I Was Back Home From Batam(Ferry) I Think. I wonder what happened to the girl, the only think I can think of is that her friends could be the one doing that to her? What if taken ez link into difficulty? Even if she's found, it's just odd someone grown up become Missing Child.
That's all in my mind I can think about right now to write, really hope December have Soldier Recruit, or it's just A Cleaning Training, why I dream of Soldier Recruit As Answer Then its like the Dejavu of The Missing Girl I Thought I Knew It Before Too. My schizophrenic symptoms of false-memory during medication is like weird? I really don't want to be mistaken as in love with the girl, just sharing my feelings or wonder "why like it happened before"?
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