Missing (S)

I don't know why more than 15 years is nothing to her maybe, a special story that's true that I have been missing (S) since Kindergarten, still I can't get my Believed-As Soulmate. Why would I turn bad if I'm with her so soon is because of difficulty of Life without Money? More than 15 Years is Long Enough already since my first try when she was in M.R.T - I still remember after so long then I remembered I have ever spoken to her.

During primary school I would walk outside her primary school and look-out for her, wondering where she is - I assume as Damai Primary, hoping I would see her again, I'ved missed her for 6 Years then, saw her during Hari Raya at Primary 5, visited her home, after 5 years of missing her? I don't know why she control herself from contacting me other than I may become a bad man - a drug syndicate/seller/business just to go out with her, but the point is just to negotiate and not do it there's nothing we can do about it "but it will happen" anyway as believed by psychic. I remember she saying it's not worth it if I do a drug business then a girl enjoy then suddenly I go prison instead, the girl got to enjoy for free while I'm at risk of prison, I agreed with this then I truly hope can meet her faster than 38 years old - my recovery age.

Why so long doesn't really matter to her but the point is she still watches-out for me in Plato, Super Mech Bot have a spy, even outside I think buying the same as what I buy to consume, I really miss her like crazy at this age. I wonder what's the best stability if no cig. to help me with life.

I need my life support but not from her obtaining difficulty if support me anything, I don't know why my parents don't give me money to live my life, the situation said as I have to take medications before such thing, then it's almost 6 months and still the same.

I think we should really meet a lot so my heart heals from the pain of missing her and worried she don't know that I love her. I'm at this age and still Solo living, I cant grow up? I will be stressed for entire life if I can't be with her or something happens to her that caused me not to love her anymore like having a child. I don't know why I fall in love at kids age - Kindergarten, nobody can help me I guess I'm too young, but how can I be too late if I ever told her i love her in M.R.T?

I remember doctor saying I will go out with her at 38 years old, maybe working in O.C.B.C Too because I'm top hacker in the world and someone who has done most hacks in the world by ranking of Psychic. I remember in m.r.t she wanted to buy me a laptop or android if I spam laptop or folder image in Plato, then she made me feel like making-up such reason to meet her, pretending wanting a Free Laptop or Android instead, then she saying with a lot of her Photos inside, then didn't she made me happy then? Didn't she accept my love then 17 years ago but then just far from me because I may become a bad man if close to her(as wanting to go out with her alot requires money)? I remember it's like I got her the job at O.C.B.C because I'm Top Hacker in the World by Ranking, offering myself if O.C.B.C Hires her. I wonder why my memory is not clear about this. I was in i.m.h then doctor told me to guess where my Soulmate will work at then I got it right at first guess, and we went straight there for me to apply the job for her with contract that she won't spend her money on other guys, aren't I quite lucky then with this Special Contract for her?

My life experience with her is special on the first day we met on m.r.t, a lot of people wanted to change name in m.r.t it's quite odd like a movement to promote me to change my name as fact because of my nonsense when I am schizophrenic sick like out of my mind. People voted me to take back my O-Level then a Promise to meet again when I have recovered from Schizophrenia to see how fast we have grown/aged. Why does people that want to change name happen to be there with me meeting (S) for the first time? Didn't I lose time to talk to her as fact? Suddenly strangers talk to each other in M.R.T? Why did such thing happen and psychic was there too? It's like a Phenomena to be able to talk to soulmate peacefully. It was suddenly peaceful when she's in m.r.t and I turned left and saw her at there making my heart so happy gotten to meet her after searching for her for so long since Kindergarten Days.

I hope her plans on m.r.t to meet me will happen, it's just worry that I may become a bad man, why I don't have any friends anyway? Why is everyone okay I live a solo life and knowing I can't Solat for peace?