Why doctors knows this feelings that I will get and still fine about it - maybe he think of eat, bath, drink, sleep and that's it to have a normal life.
I wonder how they know my stress of jobclub but still will talk about it, I really got a job on 12.12 but then jobclub haven't contacted me maybe because I haven't sent photo of Bank Statement.
Is it maybe too early of writing my knowing by doctors that (S), (W) and (A) will get schizophrenia? What would they do if they read? Will they think they're getting crazy too? My life hinted of needing someone but I still not getting anyone, soldier job is the day I gain friends then I think of a faster way to gain friends like working at Shopee will be nice energy of life - it really sounds stable job because of the Company Name.
I'm super hungry right now then not cooking yet, I think of eating Chilli Tuna with Rice but quite lazy to cook rice. I don't know why it is fine this kind of life. What does (W) and (A) do at home, do I know too if imagine Soulmate? But I think they've been living life fine without me is still odd too, I thought i'm someone special in their heart?
I feel like going for bicycle ride to kill time, then I can't think well too, I feel unstable and doctors knew this, doctors knew jobclub won't contact me yet but will still ask about jobclub? Is it their belief of "Suntricity" science, to feel something in feelings can create Catatonia and Heat but still will ask anyway?
I think 1 day of work to survive or increase income is still nice if it had to be only 1 day, will I be having energy for it though? It's bad, energy this sense is not stamina but the happiness to work. Everyone living a normal life while I'm schizophrenia and let be with no one helping me, I don't know too if anyone really think of/for me stuff to do in life.
Why is soldier job so long, why it must feel like December? Why I don't know like Wali Allah and Psychic don't tell me when is it? Why I can forgot if they told me before?
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