Today 100th Day Outside Ward On Medication

I don't know what's the celebration to be like, I will take Photo with a Fila Jacket Later maybe, to update of my growth and recovery Image. It's 147 Days In Total I have been on Medications, I used to Skip everytime this year is surprising to me how I am getting to be doing it like after a lot of tries to believe it is good. Since Young until 38 Years Old To Recover and Doctors knew it that I would finally take my medications at this age. I don't know why They Don't Feel I've wasted a lot of my life.

147 Days is Really A lot of Happiness how the recovery is really happening, how my mind can't think well in the past, how the hotness got my life to be suffering and stuck inside house or walking aimlessly. My neighbours are definitely better condition than me they don't walk aimlessly around City Hall etc. it's definitely going to be a bad life to leave a Schizophrenia with no money, family end up making up reason to be caught outside could be their solution to send into I.M.H?

I definitely will be with (W), (A), (S) when they have schizophrenia, I know they will/must recover quickly, can't be like me over 20 years, but I think even after having children can still be having Schizophrenia, so I hope they don't feel the heat so much, I think Doctors will update me when they have schizophrenia. I really don't want them in a bad state of hotness like tearing their own clothes even. I also don't want them to waste their money that they have saved for so many years, schizophrenia makes waste money like buying something new then throwing it away on the same day or even when haven't used the items, schizophrenia is really bad. Maybe it's Catatonia making like a pain if have the items causing the needs to throw them to feel less pain. I wonder why Doctors don't mind how I was throwing Stuff away.

I really don't want them sad and depressed in public view and looking very down and sad, schizophrenia need someone to be with them, splitting is not a nice decision as require support, it's just too bad for me nobody supported me. I've been alone and (S) maybe knew it how it's painful for me she just don't want me to become a Mastermind Druglord maybe, I wonder what pain I can evade for them I will try as much as I can.

Life full of suffering like psychic don't care, how money is believed as "for buying cigarettes" in the end, but doesn't it cause soldiers to become stable if smoke? schizophrenia waste cig.? Psychic really knows things like being there on time or it will seem like someone reported them about it? It's weird how Psychic is usually first and not Wali Allah, our hope always wish for Wali Allah to help but Psychic is always first. I wonder why I was alone for so long at City Hall without any support, maybe Psychic told (S) about it then they just decided I be sent to I.M.H? I wonder how I did not eat for days without feeling hungry too, maybe the tobacco I smoke have spikes of meth because I tear and reroll to smoke it?

I hope Doctors tells me what's wrong about helping me, it's like a training to believe but will feel the shame and scare for real - that if they died and I have nobody, they know my life becomes like that, but they knew it's because of money I can't live properly, why like what happened? I would waste money on Liquor, Ice Cream and Cig.? Then the expenses is too much they imagine I become a fat useless man that drink beer everyday?