I plan to wear the "Life" T-Shirt because it's cheaper than MIG, and it's just a cleaning training, and also being emotional thinking of "Life" and hope doctors really help me with money, I'm definitely dead as $200 to imagine my life path in January to survive until February it's definitely hard, I plan to be nice to future babies anyway, but then I need cold temperature sometimes so my micro earthquake inside my head relieves and cools down, I need the difference too and I truly feel this time is then the last time I smoke until doctors support me hopefully, that they calculated it as real I need cold temperature and tell me to just smoke, it's healthy feelings anyway will definitely be good for future babies.
I know doctor knew first I would wear "Life" T-Shirt because he said it last year I think, I really want my life like going City Hall, Marina Square is like a paradise to me when I was small kid, I really did not get life with money, only when working at C.I.A.S Changi Cargo Complex I was earning $1400/mth and I survive my schizophrenia somehow, I do feel sick 1 of the time needing a long sleep. I really miss those days I earn a lot and bought my own NW-A1000 or 3000 Sony Mp3 Walkman then spoiled by ex of my brother. I really feel rich at that time, then I didn't even save money maybe because I'm a smoker, life is really hard I really need a nice job. I remember doctor saying I will work at Popeyes until become a Manager and I hope he's true, but what about story of Soldier Job, becoming a guard duty during it? Why sometimes it's like I won't actually work at Popeyes at all? Is it really next year the Soldier Job?
I wonder how much (S) earns but I don't care about it, it's just my luck falling in love with someone that happens to earn big in her future, I love her since kindergarten is the point, why is she busy in her working life and not really having fun? There's no fun in life on weekends? She have niece to play with, lucky life have babies.
I ate chicken just now to fill myself, I'm also waiting for plain water to become cold to drink and eat my Mood Support Pill.
Today is Day 130 of my days outside ward on medications and +48 = 178 Days I've been on medications, just have 5 days left to become 6 months. I'm definitely happy about it, I survived so long for the first time on medications this long continuously.
It's been 1 week since my Simba line expire and I have only used 49.01MB of 400GB, I really need to have money to go out and use my Data, I really been given life by Simba but not living my life properly, cig. maybe the cause of shortage of money but it's also the cause of stability(I need the cold temperature from cig.), I really hope doctors calculate for me my needs and I really want to quit cig. just because I want to have more money in life to spend. I remember I used to quit cig. then actually spending on food alot, then actually I feel "hungry for cig." again because I still ran out of money to live my life. It was hard then I was warded on the 29th June again, this happened yearly I think that I kept forgetting except this year I remembered I was warded at Ward 35A, even if more than 2 times, the last time I remember as "my 2nd time" instead, when actually I've been warded multiple times at there. My life is really harsh how I kept losing memories and will I remember everything at there 1 day? Its really close to 6 months I really want to feel the difference and remember, maybe it will make me a happier person too.
Now I'm just living life waiting for my Canvas Shoes and Cargo Pants on 23 Dec to arrive, then 26 Dec my 3 T-Shirts, I feel like buying more because they're priced $3+ - $4+ Only, so cheap and it's Oversize Tee I think, the length of arm until elbow area, I really want to feel stable wearing like such.
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