Is Job Really Popeyes Or Parcel Sorting from C.C? I wonder, I really want a Job, or it's McDonalds and Popeyes On Weekend? Why is this a Secret? Why Knowing Is Blocked And Character Build-Up As Priority Exist Such Thing, I Really Will Become Lazy If Know Too Much?
I Really Feel Like Going Out To Explore Jobs If C.C Have Opened, I Wonder If There's Really Something I Can Do To Earn Money Fast, I Don't Know Why I Would Spend Away But I Need The Items Anyway.
Everyone is Lucky That Spending is Nothing To Them While Me Just Rely On G.S.T Package, They're Lucky Having the Health While Me Have To Bear Hotness in Heart If Mother Speaks Of Working, Then I Have To Believe "The Heat is Worse if No One Created It Hot".
Why is My Luck Like This? Why Are They Not Just "Giving Faces"?
I really don't want to hate my mother as she's 70 years old already. I just anticipate and hear maybe the small girl's voice repeating what I hate to hear and she knew the common sense and done to me then I keep hearing her voices as my memory.
Doesn't it mean I can't work? I would definitely still hear voices even if take medications. Why is it like this?
Don't know what created her mind idea into multiple raging-statements(the type of talk that rages heart), it was continuous and so long in my life(even after she is outside my house, then outside my wall as schizophrenia believe voices behind wall, it makes her attacks unknown to me, definitely hear it at Window), I just dislike her whispers like she's still around (a plot for me to hear and remember, then hear back my memories in voices that's whispers), maybe she's daughter of Wali Allah that's why she's smart in attack activity.
It's hopeless the medicine didn't take her voice and raging-statements away, only decreases the total heat I would've felt.
It's bad and sad how I have to write "hear voices" like insane people, people maybe don't believe until they have Schizophrenia too, none of my family is understanding too, like I'm left to survive to use G.S.T/Assurance Package on buying stuff, like no Hari Raya Standard of Money too, my luck in life is Strictly Bad, I don't understand why too.
What did Psychic say to my parents to not give me money because I would spend on Liquor and Ice Cream Mixtures? Beer and Ice Cream Mixtures? I really don't know it's just heavy, to wait for 38 years old require more patience, they just don't trust me yet maybe.
It's so long, I have to wait for Popeyes Job and Job-Training, why they didn't just support me while I focus on Medication? Life really have to become "Government Support"?
I remembered I Requested Help before After Hearing People at I.M.H Ask for Help At C.D.C, M.S.F, Asking For Money Monthly, Then No Response or They Just Knew It That I Am Schizophrenic, I Hope I Didn't Become Clumsy, It's Bad Like The I.M.H Patients Claim They Really Get Money Like $200/Monthly, Who In My Difficulty Don't Want Such Thing?
I Have To Save Up A Different Way, Like Hoping There's Extra Food The Next Day Morning, Because Usually I Would Feel Hungry In The Morning.
Weird Like What I Tell Is My Weakness In Life For People To Attack To Create Me Into Their Wishes, Like I'm Shocked By Droplets, Then I Hear Voices of Someone and Footsteps That's Loud. Maybe Because I Off The Fan Is Why I Can Hear It Louder, It Felt Hotter Too, It Was Cold Just Now, Don't Know Why My Body Like This. I Was Like Going To Shiver In Coldness. Maybe Too Much Cold Water. The Panic Really Exist To Imagine Warning By Police, *Sigh* I'm Really Such A Bad Luck Person.
I Think I'm Going C.C Later or Tomorrow To Check If It's Already Opened Or Still Renovation, I Just Want a Job.
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