Hmm..

Planning to Change My Number at Bank But Will Be Long Queue Maybe Then Like Lazy About It, Yesterday My Writing Title of "Sad Life" Have 21 Readers and My Nephews' Achievement Have 15 Readers, It's A lot.

Doesn't this mean someone is actually at real attention to my life but not telling me who are they? If I remember it's like my family only, but I don't remember well, maybe it will suddenly become 2 readers again then actually someone just refreshing multiple times?

Spent $16.10 Today I Had To Buy What I Had To Buy.

Took Out $150 From Bank And Bought $1.10 Redbull.

I Became Truly Calculative About My Expenses Hoping I Don't Waste Money. Anyway isn't girls spending on make-up is like spending on cigarette? Just thinking about fairness.

January 2026 Won't Be Having Any G.S.T Package. Means I Need To Last This $600 Until February. Maybe February 2026 Will Have G.S.T Package. The Thing is Maybe I Would Get To Work By Then, Maybe I Won't Have Money Problem At All. I'm Really Waiting for 38 Years Old For My Family To Give Me A Lot Of Money Like a Lump Sum I Heard From Them. I Definitely Will Spend On Buying A Computer.

I Feel Healthy When I Imagine Me Working At Popeyes And Can Pay Bills Of Computer Usage At Home. I Remember That Doctor Would Play "World Of Warcraft" With Me As Consider Me As His Son, So It Will Be Fun If He Did Not Lie Or It's Not A Dream, It's Still Like A Dream Come True As Someone Nice Will Be Playing Games With Me, Not Like in the Past, My Friends Is Unknown Focus In Games Sometimes Leaving Me Behind In Games As He and His Brother Are 2 Person Playing 1 Character. I Really Hope The Gaming Life Comes Back For Me.

I Am Also Guessing My Father Will Be Buying Me a 2 Room House, If My Mother Is Telling The Truth About It, But What If It's a Dream, Why Is My Memory Like This?

I'm Planning To Be Adventurously Playing Games To Past Time To Get Back The Addiction of Gaming But The Small Girl's Voice Really Created Anhedonia to Me, I Really Don't Like Writing About Her, To Maintain My Happiness In Life. I Remembered Back About Her Is Like a Hell is Nearby Over and Over Again Just Because of Being Patient Due To Her Being a Small Girl Who Tried Created Me Violent to Scare Me Of Being Strapped Jacket if Violent, Means She Wanted To Create A lot of Fear Into My Life.

The Only Games In Mind Is P.U.B.G Then If Mobile Legends I Imagine if Dina Would Invite Me Play With Her As She Frequently Play Mobile Legends, I Know 1 Day Will Enter Competition Said By Doctor And We Will Win As Family: Me, Aqmar, Dina's Boyfriend, Doctor, Maybe My Brother or Another Doctor I think - We Will Get $5000 Prize or $15,000 I Forgot. Psychic is Doctor they're the same Person. It's a 5 Person Game.

I Remember By Doctor That Dina's Boyfriend Will Get Schizophrenia So She Actually Won't Get Married Yet As I Haven't Married Yet Anyway, I Think Dina Understands Schizophrenia Is Really "Others' Doing" Causing A Statement of Nonsense And Sadness And Will Stay with Her Boyfriend Until Marriage.

I Also Remember By Doctor that 1 Day 5 Guys Will Be Circling Her and Her Boyfriend That I Will Be Around To Fight 5 People. I really want to learn Martial Art 1 Day if I Get the Chance To Talk To Doctor Normally. They Treating Me Like a Medical Patient not Really Like Someone That Will Accompany My Life Even After Telling Will Play Games With Me.

I Hope Her Boyfriend Doesn't Waste His Life Too As I Know Schizophrenia 1 Day Will Be Not Wanting To Eat Medication Because Don't Want To Be Called As Insane, Then It's Due To The Hotness To Evade From Schizophrenia is Really Taking The Medicines Well and On Time.

I Pity How Her Boyfriend Became Strong To Ride Motorcycle and Then Schizophrenia Then Worry of Accident Which is No Problem Because Doctor is a Psychic That There Won't Be Any Accident. I Think Vision of Seeing Things Will Happen and Voices Became "No Fear of the Darkness or Alone" Ironically Because of the Voices Itself I Will Thought Someone is Using Speaker and Microphone and Looking At Spy Camera Talking To Me.

What Occur To Me During Schizophrenia Is I Keep Seeing My Father, My Brother, My Mother, (S)'s Face, Dream of (A), Thinking of (W), Sometimes My Sisters' Faces Appear Too Including Dina When She Was A Baby. I Remember My Nephew Aqmar Was Still Inside My Sister's Stomach then Heard A Laughing Baby's Voice Then I Thought is Aqmar then when he Grow Up, The Voice is The Same Laughter Type Too. I Am Shocked Too. It Is Cute and Still I Wonder What Happened To Me, Why Did I Experience Such Thing?

I Also Remember I Kept Seeing A Ball and Like Kuih Bomb then a Baby That Changes Into My Father's Face then it's Actually My Nephew Arshan, When He Exist I Remembered this Vision and It's Him. I Am Surprised Like a Psychic. My Brother Told Me He Knew His Son's Face Before His Son Appear in this World Too, Then Me Knowing Nephew's Face is Cool.

Is It I'm A Bit Of Psychic? Or It's From Allah Himself Like He Showing He Exist And Knows The Pain I Feel In My Life?

What would Psychics Say Of The Pain I Experienced From Allah is It Really Okay? It's From Schizophrenia, Catatonia and Anhedonia is Really From Someone Else? I Remember I Kept Thinking of "Suntricity" When I Was A Kid Age Then It's A lot of Repeat-Action I Thought Like a Dejavu Or People Showing Me Of The Same Occurrences Will Happen Again and Again By Physics-Method.

I Hope Doctors Talk To Me More About My Sickness But I Know I Would Work At Popeyes And Recover By Then, Maybe Nothing To Talk But Just Eat Medicine Or Just Something To Remember Instead If They Have Ever Spoken To Me Something Important.

I'm really glad if I feel normal to play games like PUBG and Mobile Legends Again, I Just Loses The Happiness of Having Friends, I Didn't Have Friends For 17 Long Years, Gf is Not Counted Because "Gf have To Search While Friends Should Exist Naturally By Common Sense", Then I Have No One With Me Through My Hardship or Even Given Me Money To Support New Taste That Appear in Life Like McDonalds, K.F.C Wrapped Chicken, I Really Missed A lot of Life Moments So Many Years I Didn't Frequent McDonalds Anymore.

I Think of Trying to Play PUBG Again and Posting Whatever Ranking I Got, Everytime, As A New Life Way Thing.

I Really Have To Recover to Play Mobile Legends A lot To Feel Life Again, My Life is Too Sad, I No Longer Feel The Excitement Of Playing Games But Doctors Seem Fine That I Don't Have To Take Mood Support Pills, It's Weird Doctors Don't Have Other Medicine Maybe It Will Recover Itself?

I Truly Feel Like Taking The Lorazepam Everytime As It's Catatonia Medicine But Then It's For "Cannot Sleep" Means Doctor Did Not Regard Catatonia as Important or Important "Is Why It's Lorazepam(Medicine of Catatonia)"?

Anyway Just Now The Queue is Too Long At Bank To Change Number. And I Continued Writing When I'm Back From A.T.M. I Don't Know When I Will Change Number But Doctor Did Not Regard Mood Support Pills As Something Important is Still Weird To Me, It's Definitely a Healing Way, Maybe It's Truly Not Is Why It's Not Eaten On 30th June 2025?

I Was Still Schizophrenia When I'm On Medication Thinking I Own The Birds At I.M.H and Felt Like Daily Feeding The Birds With Extra Food That I Don't Eat, I Really Miss My Life With Birds Like It Ever Exist Before, Why Nobody is Reminding Me of My Life With Birds At That Time I Would Think I'm an Orphan and Nobody Cares About Me.