Is working at Popeyes really enough to enjoy life, I definitely need to be a stable man, I need to become a businessman.
I don't know the worry of (S)'s life comes late after I discover she went to Bali on her Twitter 1 time, she's so far away from me? Why is it like that as okay? Why she can go on holidays but can't set aside time for me? Are my efforts not special at all?
I look at Staffie Application have dishwasher job at Admiralty I really feel like working, but I think I should really wait for Jobclub.
I feel like I should work at Hi-Ace its really tempting but "kerje penat2 abeh gaji $1400" is it by small girl or doctor? Is it really true or not? How can I meet (S) my age is so old and (S) doesn't worry about not meeting me at all? Small girl really makes me lost confidence about working, I wonder what I should do, I really hard to survive on Assurance/G.S.T Package.
No one really help me but I have to wait for 38 years old expecting money from my family members that's planning to give me a lump sum. I really plan to buy a computer and back to a computer lifestyle just this time I will work and on computer every Saturday and Sunday I think. I really worry how people "know I won't die yet" so they don't really care what I don't feel yet in life.
I remember when my family went to Bali/Bintan the temperature was so hot I was so difficult to move around maybe it's catatonia? They didn't worry how they left me alone at home too, I really have no one that cares about me, I wonder why (S) let me be feeling alone for so long too. Why doctors didn't appear too?
All of them were probably angry that I didn't take my medicines. I wonder how to get my life back like going out with family. In the past, my father always bring us to Melaka every December I think, then it stopped already, the ride was so adventurous I like the darkness nights in spooky road then I'm in the car on the way to Melaka with my father driving, I want such life again but everyone's grown up and have family, I really hope for such life to happen again, there's no space to think of vehicle now can only go with Tour, as my first sister have 4 children, my brother have 1 son, my 2nd sister have 1 daughter, haha. Life is really different and I miss my old days.
I truly feel like applying for Popeyes job tomorrow at Woodlands M.R.T, because doctor ever said I will work 3 years at Popeyes then work I.M.H as Nurse, I wonder if someone have tattoo like me is cool to be nurse in I.M.H, it's really a nice job - at Jod sometimes have such I.M.H Jobs thats like a nurse, it's really cool I think if in a psychological status job.
I really wonder what I should do in life - the jobs really been said before by doctor and I don't know if it's really true Hi-Ace job will be bad luck for me, maybe it's the small girl that say it and not doctor? It really demoralize from working there(the voices in my memories that I listen back).
I'm really bored so I wrote a lot. My previous writing have 19 readers I wonder how it jumps like that, people even visit my blog's main page, I hope doctors and my family remembers about I will recover at 38 years old, and about lump sum money to give me to enjoy myself. I'm planning to save the money that they gave after buying myself a computer 1 day.
I really tried myself to be quitting smoking, the headshake desire kind of thing is felt maybe by the spikes in the past that still haven't gone away.
I still feel like learning "Ethical Hacking Course" but it's like in my memory Doctors tell me not to - but if it's from freecodecamp isn't it free course anyway? Why to be top hacker I must not learn anymore except from him maybe?
I see that if I complete mandarin language hsk 1, hsk 2 I can only learn until part 10, there's more than 30 parts but I can only learn until 10? I will need to check on other mandarin language videos to learn mandarin. Maybe it's the reason why doctors don't mind if I don't learn Mandarin properly. My time really will be spent on Iqra 1 last page. I will understand from reading the Rumi.
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