I'm really waiting for doctor to contact me so I can ask about (S), it's been so many years and I kept losing memory if not I can question about (S) many times but then it would create her life difficult as she's working like a normal perfect-health person, she's so lucky to be able to work in life, not everyone is really struggling to get money is the reality of life, it's only me.
I just don't know how to end the dull feeling like a sickness sticking into me if I don't smoke, I really still became schizophrenic at that time when I don't smoke I think as I thought my family are not my family, I wonder why schizophrenic people can experience this? Why doctors didn't tell my family about it? I'm hoping I really get to play RG477V by February or 1st G.S.T Package or even 1st Salary in Popeyes 1 Day. I wonder about the truth of me working in Popeyes as doctor didn't update me about it but I wonder about life like this, it's like my neighbour going to work at Popeyes too, it's weird in my memory like they ever helped in buying bicycle off me when I schizophrenic at least luckily neighbour bought it at a nice price. I wonder why such thing happen to me during schizophrenia like I can spend money without thinking properly. When I think again, it's like good that they didn't give me money so I don't spend anyhow from it.
Today I ate Chicken Chop with Tomato Rice, remembering that doctor saying it is the cause of my future healthy babies - me eating this meal, I really hope (S) will become my wife. I remember doctor saying I will have 10 babies, 6 from (S), 2 from (W), 1 from (A), 1 from another girl. It's weird I was hoping doctor is true because I really want to feel of becoming a grandfather again now suddenly, I remember doctor saying that my parents will live to see my grandchild, I wonder if my parents really believe they will live until 100+ years old yet.
I truly hope my family became supportive of my life plans in life and support me with money soon, I'm doing well on medication it's close to 6 months and I'm happy it's been this long I've been writing a blog. I wonder if I should celebrate every 1 year of blogging, something special like changing the looks of the blog and gifting myself something.
I remembered about I wanted a terrapin and ever sold it to my neighbour, I wonder how it is now I really want my life to feel different. Doctors really knew if I would smoke or not is weird how they can't create support to me through my family members, they definitely as psychic know the reason that I would do that? I wonder what doctors told my parents - smoking actually makes ourself feel stronger? Will doctor tell such thing? I truly feel weakling when I don't smoke, like a weak man. I'm also a fun person and a fun person usually smokes, someone that doesn't create heartache to others. But then the small girl's voice appear again I wonder if she boiled me up like yesterday about my father giving her money, she is expert in attacking like boiling people up so people became hard to move but the only reason is I'm nice to her because she's still small and just a girl. I remembered she lost her memory after attacking me and my niece Dina, I wonder what keeps making her to attack my life until this far.
I can only wait everyday hoping for support from my own family members and they are not being used to buy what they don't like, but doctors know anyway, why are doctors like this to me?
Doesn't this mean that any writings of mine didn't actually promote support from my family because doctors knew it that I still haven't quit cigarette?
No comments:
Post a Comment