3 more days Jobclub! Finally earning!

It's Day 169 out of ward on medications and total of 217 days on medications. I finally slept through the dark vision and it's like a vision-reset every waking up that if I walk a lot again will obtain dark vision again, or maybe carry heavy objects and pressure on legs will get it again, I discovered it yesterday or it maybe happened last year too then it happened again.

My Simba data usage is 2.48gb/400gb I feel like a normal person using my data's properly every jobclub. I would earn money this coming jobclub $18/day and I'm happy about it, at the end of February I would earn $144 and I'm quite satisfied that I'm getting something finally.

Yesterday I did not download PSP Games like I planned because I feel bored of it, money is so little but they said it's just to increase my stamina for work outside, I hope they don't take too long to give me a job. I'm energized by quotes to perform well in my life like 2026 quotes etc. I really hope I will do well this year and recover from schizophrenia. I don't know if my neighbours had recovered from schizophrenia because it's been so many years, and it would be cool if I really recover from schizophrenia this year.

I wonder what else I should be learning to become a better person, I kept thinking of Mandarin and Arabic language, I think I really should be doing something more, life's too boring and I really need to do something daily, my entire day just lepak around while (S) works and earn money it's just like unfair but it's not like she's sharing money with me, I need to become a man that can work properly and have a stable income, I really wonder if I will work at Popeyes then I'm still happy because the job is close to my home.

I wonder if daily (S) thinks of me like I wish, to be considered to become her boyfriend, that somehow love really is enough to be with her, I really can't think how life would be without her, what mess would I be in, just now morning I woke up and I am thinking "if (S) is married and have a child" what would happen to me? I really just know a girl fall in love then suddenly she's gone? I really want to go heaven with her becoming her husband, I know somehow 1 day my family will give me money and I would catch-up on the difficult days without money, to stabilize and have money but does (S) understands this at all? I really don't want to suffer but when I think of EZ-link it is really expensive each journey, just 3 times can be costing close to $10 already because to I.M.H is $3.10 and 3 times is $9.30, it's really hard the transport fee became like that expensive. Maybe lucky I don't know where she work at to go there, as I would have gone there multiple times and try wait for luck for her.