9th January 26, Friday

It's Day 148 on medication out of ward and total of 196 days on medications. 196 is my birthday(19 June), haha. It's a slow calculation day by day and writing on blog daily.

Later I will be going out with my parents to Al-Ameen to eat prata cheese egg, it's definitely a satisfying food as it's a big lump of cheese, different than my coffeeshop the flavour of cheese is nicer but Al-Ameen have sambal which is still nice.

I skip the self-celebration moments I remember my 30 days I celebrate with eating McDonald's then I stopped, now it became 148 days already, I thought of making recovery sketchbook but I did not in the end, money is not enough anyway, and my family don't really care about it, they just assuming I eat my medicine then, nothing special about eating it everyday. It's been so many years I have schizophrenia my luck is so bad in life, out of so many people in the world, and my family have good health then I have schizophrenia, it's really bad luck for me.

My Simba data usage is 312mb/400gb, I really feel rich for nothing like I remembered I don't have money at all to feel happy about this, about having a lot of data usage on Simba like a normal person uses phone daily, I can listen to YouTube like old days listening to songs but no mp3s just YouTube and still not run out of usage on phone. It's really a lot then I'm like jakon about it as I'm still like new to Android, I don't know why I didn't save up for my August and December Package Payout. I remember it's February then I will start earning money to hopefully be smooth about it and live a happier life.

My left arm became worse in pain then I can't stretch it out then I hope I recover fast, if not I really hard to do jobclub, it's really like the 2nd time this is happening, my jobclub moment last year was something like this too I think, my arm was in pain. I don't know why injection can be so painful more than 1 month+, doctor saying it's temporary pain and it's 1 month+ long doctor don't find it serious at all. My next injection is on my left arm again then if it haven't heal up?

Yesterday my post is only 7 viewers, it's weird like someone knows or always on computer that I will post and it's only that moment usually the increment of readers doesn't really increase the next day or moment, someone is active on my Facebook to view what I write without me knowing who is it.

Today I just write quite messy grammar but just filling up my daily usual writing of days on medications as to feel happy about it. My left eye looks like can open normally now im better health about it.