Car License Energy

My niece got her driving license as passed, grown big so fast, I feel happy about her achievement. Anyway what's sad is I don't feel her growth and wonder of my 16 years growing up feeling nothing in my life, it was a lot of hot pain, then now schizophrenia create me kept getting painful injections I'm really bad luck.

It's weird like how I loss memory so much for 16 years of my niece's growth, then it's like a dream feeling when I see my brother already have a 12 year old child yesterday, I feel like the reality is like a dream, as I don't see my brother became different person already.

Just now my mother talks of driving license i will be taking sponsored by my brother, means I am right that I will get driving license, doesn't this mean I am right that my mother is giving me money too? Why it sometimes feels like 1 year of medication instead? Am I not receiving support at all?

My mother confirmed with my brother yesterday about it, I'm happy my brother remember about his promise, I hope I get driving license by age of 38, I want to feel stable in life by not smoking too. I only have 3 sticks left, then I wonder if I can make it like others, there will definitely exist vibrations feelings and I would wake up early in the morning, but I really hope I will be stable somehow, I just need to remember not to walk around so much and not get the dark vision, then I will be stronger for the day.

But if I'm correct about my brother sponsoring me license, doesn't this mean I am right that doctor is buying me RG477V? I wish I can contact doctor to ask about (S), or how my life going to become, I really at a slow progress in life but it's still better than not growing better in life. I really happy that on the 12th will be my 3rd day in jobclub, then 15th will be my 4th day then it's easily half month done.

I wonder why nobody reminds me when I will be supported about money, but I feel lucky again when I remembered February I will start earning already, I look at Popeyes just now and it feels fun to imagine working at there, I really am excited of my life becoming a normal person, but I truly hope the hacker and soldier job story is real too, about 38 years old working at O.C.B.C as Hacker wonder what will happen about it too? Why doctors didn't update me about it? I really hope my left arm pain is not too long too so I can work normally at jobclub, it's like a self-damage next injection "just taking the pain on the left" as I've done my right side injection on my last injection, next turn is the left side again, I wonder why schizophrenia and have to experience this kind of pain, doctor pretending normal and not seeing this as serious or what? The pain is real disabling my arms from functioning normally.

I'm now resting at Sofa thinking of money if I can gain somehow, but my left arm in pain I can't work anyway, I don't know why my family practices on giving me hot feelings like talking about job, but the anticipation already is a hot feeling in my heart, I wonder why it's like this, I can hear it in voices too. The situation is I'm not a lazy person just sickness of schizophrenia, then the odd thing is they really treating me normally but I really am normal too like I have N level and not retarded, I wonder why it's hot like this my life. It's maybe the spike making me feel this way, I really not enjoying my life right now when thinking of money, I wonder when to start talking about money to my mother.

I remember my Granny will plan to give me $2000 but I don't know if it's the end of jobclub of after 1 year of medications, I'm really happy like that, that I will receive money some day.

I don't know what to do like I can only do legs lifting exercises to destress because if doing sideways my left arm would maybe be more in pain in future, I really can't repair it immediately and just feel the pain. It's bad the pain.

I remember like my neighbour sponsoring me motorcycle license too, then I really don't know when is it, maybe it's February or End of January? I really don't know if he remembers too, it's like the same case as my brother I don't know if he remembers but my mother checked with him yesterday then I am right. If I am not sure it's because I feel it's like a dream then it's like I'm saying about a dream instead. Hahaha. I'm happy about this but my left arm in pain anyway I don't think I can do motorcycle or car license turning etc. it's too painful.

I remember I would be working as Popeyes when I get motorcycle license so it means I will really work at Popeyes by jobclub. I'm excited to start my life as a normal person it's been so long.