Mental Ache Haha

I realize this phone is cheap phone and not $300+ but $130+ I think, then if I sell I end up with a cheaper phone then how much can I sell it for? I lost my $200+ Nokia phone maybe somewhere my parents when clearing things to assume they accidentally throw them away? Why is it like that, I got nothing to sell now. I wonder what's going to happen to my life living from EZ-link to jobclub and back, I really will have nothing anymore in life, why did it become this bad and I'm not even ready for it. So unlucky it's a cheap phone, I wonder what I should do, there can't be any cheaper phone for me to even get $50, life really became sucky for me. I really just have to survive my life without my parents giving any money, so unlucky in life to experience this level of strictness, I don't know why they don't mind a person having no money in life too, I became like a stupid man this way.

Just now my mother bought Waker Chicken, I assume they(the 4 girls) ate the same as me then as psychic cares them but if I'm wrong, why none of them tell me I'm wrong and they actually eat better food in their life all these while? Why is life so unfair, being sick is not my choice but I have to experience this? How come doctors don't care about me too?

My brother have 2 extra phones I feel like using 1 and selling my phone, I really bad luck in life about money, I've been unlucky since the days after N.S, I always have no money and my family treat me like a capable person(to work and earn). The last time my brother gave me money was October I think, now it's ending January and I have no money and he don't care about it too, I wonder why my parents keep so much money then wonder why they really letting me suffer without money, I don't understand this kind of life to go through and they being fine about it. I'm really meant to be so unlucky in life? Why am I made to experience this?

I really don't see any gain in doing this to me, it really feels torturous to have nothing and they truly continue this, my soulmate didn't help me too + don't feel herself as my soulmate, then my soulmate don't really care about me at all, I'm so unlucky, the unluckiness multiplies like that, so bad luck.

I don't know what's worth it to do in life to gain money, nobody is helping me anything and they mean it.

I've downloaded PPSSPP emulator and planning to download Virtual Tennis, to play in Bus tomorrow towards I.M.H.

I'm really thinking how to earn money, it's like a fixed schedule of getting money in life, O.T told me getting money is immediate after work, then the other jobclub person told me it's March, I wonder which is true, it's too much like this, they don't give me transport money because my brother working at home as the answer, then it's not like my brother give me money anyway, why people feeling this is fine for me and don't mind me going through this? I assume doctors are 1 of readers or just knowing but I don't feel like this kind of decision for me is healthy for me, some people smoke until old age, even soldiers smoke and they are fine and fit, it's all about wanting to work or not that's all.

I think doctors knows too if I can play games in Bus or not, I really have no life kind of person and the boredom is real, my android is not fun enough to play PSP games maybe but I just downloaded the emulator anyway, I wonder why I became a cheapskate type of person, if simplicity is high intelligence, maybe as fact I just have no money to get anything for myself, I wasted money on 2 t-shirts it costs around $4+ each, then I think its okay, but if not I would've been able to afford a box of cig.? My entire blog end up writing about money and I became a useless person, there's no energy of writing at all, all I have written and it's repetitive of the same feelings I have daily, they really let me feel this way on purpose, I don't know what's the gain, smoking too little creates more anger and hotness anyway, I wonder why it's okay to them.