No Soulmate

Life to think like (S) that we're not soulmate and maybe soulmate is the one that we will marry, just wasting my chance of a perfect soulmate that can be together and (S) wasted the time been over 10years, I think wherever my soulmate is, she maybe having a nicer life than me if (S) is not my soulmate.

Anyway I think like how many guys masturbate at girlfriend and girlfriend's sister then actually married and have a child, in life I feel like this sort of things happens they messed up their life and became insane.

I wonder if I revenge on (S) I maybe will become insane, my efforts are like nothing to her, I didn't even ask for money, I feel I can't effort anything anyway and like my mother let me be thinking of her and not putting effort, I might as well masturbate to her mother, I really think my mother is wasting time that I became 37.5 yrs old already, if my parents gave me money at least I can hope to meet her again with the money and effort of finding her. She's just stupid maybe have measured me by her education anyways.

I wonder where I can get a nice girl, it's already too late then my mother ever talked of marrying sepupu I think she's just making me crazy like if I masturbate at both of the twins baru dia tahu, family corrupted and can ruin easily without their knowledge.

Don't know why my parents lokek duit, I think they maybe lokek until makan duit 1 day.