Stress Reliever

Haha it's definitely money, it feels like my memories playing with me like a dream, it's maybe 5th January I will be getting money? Or 8th January? Will I really be supported at all? I'm so hungry just now I just bought prata cheese egg, and bought 1.5L drink, it's easily $5.30 gone just like that today.

I don't know why I have the memories like my aunts and doctors going to support me. At first it was only memory of Bik Minah, then when my mother goes to Selangor, it's Bik Isah also, will I really be supported by them? Why doctors being understanding just letting me wait for answers on the day itself? I really hope they support me somehow, I now have $125 left as cash to last entire January then February 12 is only talk about Budget 2026, not getting money in February, it's really hard I feel like I can make it sometimes but the spike hot really unbearable I really dont like the vibrations feelings of wanting cig.

In February when getting C.D.C voucher maybe, I feel like just spending on cig. but my parents will definitely know like missing $30 voucher when they want to fork everything out, I wonder why it's like that like I can't use the voucher, I definitely need to puasa from cig., I failed about quitting cig. as the next finished cig. day I just buy another 1, I'm really going to suffer and panic this month, I feel this way.

I really feel like (S) also ate the same as me yesterday, did Bik Isah really visit (S) at work to give epok2? I wonder like that. Only Bik Isah will be understanding about cig. I think, if Bik Minah she definitely understands I've been spiked and need coldness from cig. it's the easiest coldness method I can get.

I don't know if I really can just lie down on sofa today, I know I'm going to read Iqra for awhile later then it's really only awhile for 6 months daily, can I really remember them? Can I really do it in 6 months? Then 6 more months I imagine an end of pain because doctor said I will be happy when I'm 38 years old, but then right now I'm still suffering about money, panic and future stress due to the shortage of money left, calculating cigs. as prices above $10, isn't it I feel panic and deadmeat everyday?