My days became boring as it's like this, tomorrow is 2nd day of jobclub I hope I will be fine, it's so long my life like this, then my mother like not believing in doctor about me working at Popeyes when I said I will work for 3 years doctor said, then I wonder what will happen to me now, left eye pain, left arm pain, now dark vision, I wonder why I'm so suay in life.
The chances of getting (S) as my lover is like very low, I really have no hope kind of feelings, I don't know why too she ignore me until like this, why doctor ever mentioned about "meeting her at Plato" 1 day.
I remember 1 of my adopted father(someone that treat me like a son) planned to buy me and her a nice phone, I wonder if it will actually happen, it's like she planned to buy me a phone before too in M.R.T, I wonder whys my memory like this. She really looks mine anyway whatever happened, I really don't know what else I can feel about her. She's still nice to me anyway.
Nobody updates me about her including herself, she looks having niece like story of doctor in m.r.t, it looks real doctor really knows the future from looking at her life because her niece definitely haven't existed yet at that time of doctor talking about it in m.r.t, it really happened, even the gender of the baby known by doctor first. Shes maybe pri school now I think, like my other nephews.
(S), (W) and (A) like living life well without me, I remember my next girl is my ex-BMC classmate, said by doctor, that she will appear "knowing what I will ask her" 1 day, because doctor is psychic and keeps knowing, then it's weird to write this down too. It's just a lonely life journey then I think doctor is right too, my feelings for her is still like not knowing if it's real I will be with her at all. She's a very happy girl kind of actions while I'm like this. I wonder what she's working as, I remembered again doctor told her Popeyes will exist at woodlands m.r.t and she wants me to work there too, I hope it's the end and if I get her it's my final girl, planning for marriage before old age or just have a baby 1 day. Stories like "babies will be in heaven" exist because we're all too old by the time, including (W) and (A) exist, then only (S) looks wanting to have children "with me"(if she accepts me as her boyfriend), it's just like that my life, really not knowing whose mine even if doctor said will marry 4 girls since secondary days I think, it's all them here maybe. I really don't believe too that I will marry 4 girls, I don't solat, how can that even happen?
Time really flies fast when I have left (W) and (A), with support of decision by (S) that I'm doing something right in life must happen, I remember we're all actually going to work as Hackers-Related for Government in the end I think, I really don't know what but I like such jobs to happen. I remember hacking as something easy in life then I don't know if (W) actually knows how to hack despite having Degree in I.T, she's lucky got her interest in studies. (A) is unknown if completed degree or not, it's weird I have no news or information of her at all by doctor, I wonder why it's like this too. I seem unable to know my future at all. It's all too realistic the happenings in my life that doctor is right the next girl I will have after more than 16 years is my ex-BMC classmate, doesn't this mean I am not with (S) yet and will (S) accept me at all? Why is she being like this to me?
I really try to sleep now because tomorrow is jobclub then I think if my old spike in a sticky liquid kind of form causing me unable to sleep. I'm so unlucky to be spiked if not maybe I would be feeling normal in my life. The dark vision is really unknown what creates it, spike or either walking too much as the trigger is "walking a lot" then it will happen.
I wish (S) message my phone number 80244202 or her "Iman" told her I still write of her in blog then somehow she wants to contact me. Life is too long being this way is harsh, I remember seeing her "Iman" at my block area mart then he's a tall guy, am I schizophrenic because seeing someone that looks like him in my eyes or it's really him? I wonder why, with a Chinese guy. It's weird the coincidence, it's like he actually looked for me twice and met him twice as fact. Because it's like ever happened before.
Really don't know what to do in my life just like a waiting game about my work, I really hope readers help me about receiving support from my family about money. I just now used up voucher for my mother to buy eggs and rice, it's weird they can't access it written as I have already claimed it, it should be able to take turns to use the vouchers then it's nice? I feel like taking all out into paper form to just give my mother, it's too difficult my stress.
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