I'm at Day 164 out of ward on medications and total of 212 days on medications.
I'm happy I slept until 7a.m today I really need to be like this everytime except on days having Jobclub.
My Simba data usage is 1.05gb/400gb, then it means tomorrow I will be using a lot again during jobclub.
Life's really hard thinking of the same thing everyday, memory refresh about gifts that I will receive from my adopted family then I'm unsure if it's a dream or reality somehow. Tomorrow is also the day of my injection then my left arm still Abit of pain because of my sleeping way just now, I hope I'll be fine for the injection.
Later I will learn Iqra then just now I keep hearing voices of mandarin language learning "piaoliang" it means pretty, funny, when I was bathing. I'm thinking how I can improve mandarin language, I really feel like taking a class at GioMandarin, to learn this language. I feel it's important to work and understand what others talk about us.
Sunday means (S) will be at home today I wonder doing what but should be with her niece, will she really become the best aunty in the world by psychics knowledge? Hahaha. I remember maybe she should just be making a lot of comfort for her niece then it should be fun happy niece from aunty. I really like to cuddle babies and hugs are comforting, other is maybe let them play something unique in life like drones, there's a type of car toy that moves on wall too, maybe something like this will be fun. But her niece is a girl, then it's still special for car license maybe.
February is really getting close, Ramadan is close too it just means this, I wonder if I can make it as a better Muslim this year, I really have trouble sleeping in the day cant let the day pass by me easily for buka puasa. Another whole month of remembering girls again that every Ramadan we will be listening to Warna 94.2FM together for waktu berbuka puasa.
I really ate chicken chop with tomato rice yesterday and chilli tuna with rice, then today still haven't gone to toilet, I hope it doesn't drag until tomorrow, I really want to be peaceful inside bus to jobclub, I hope I will be fine, this is always my worry every morning since primary school days. I know how to manage a bit by not drinking a lot of cold water in the morning, just Abit then it won't come out.
I'm stress of having only $15 left to last for 8 days(2nd February), I really think it's too harsh on me making such limits in my life, I really don't know what to do in my life about money then nobody comfort me or support me about money, life's really harsh this way but I have to live just writing about it, I'm so unlucky I thought I spent well and saving up well, then this happens.
Nothing else is recovered about my memory and it's still the same thing about gifts that makes me happy, O level next year definitely confirmed and I'm just an old guy doing this is it real? Will I really become a psychologist in the end like story of doctor? Why do I feel so childish still like I can't become a psychologist? But it's something real like not many people can become a hacker, then I know how to hack, then I'm happy about it. I remember story like in my memory - that I will be webmaster(web designer) for masjid tentera diraja, I wonder if it's a dream or reality, life's definitely will be fun being participant of a masjid in Singapore. Then it's the voices that caused this, to earn $1000/mth working as web designer and worker of that masjid, I wonder if it's true too, I hear voices like this. Does small girl know about the masjid I wonder, if know she maybe edit statements and created me dreamy about a nice life getting into the Muslim World finally.
I remember things like "Ustaz Harunarrashid" wants to talk to me but then I didn't take my medicine properly, then I hope he still reads my blog, but it's a boring writing daily like what a pity the readers have to read my boring writings I really try to make it different each post. I wonder what he will want to talk to me about. It's due to me wanting to remove tattoo in the past in the program of masjid tentera diraja "Mudik Ke Hulu", that tattoo removal will become cheaper if goes to the program.
I really hope (S) becomes understanding me better and I feel like she knows my nonsense during schizophrenia, my mind really becomes like a kid and slow, I thought I'm a science genius something like that.
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