I'm at Day 176 out of ward on medications and total of 224 days on medications.
My Simba data usage is 3.46gb/400gb.
I have 16 more days then it's 2/3 of a year done being on medications that long.
Yesterday I dreamt about Imam Mahdi two times, but I think it's a different person thinking he is Mahdi, but the point is I dreamt about "Mahdi". 1 is he is as sick as me then another dream about "Mahdi" I forgot. I wonder what it means, why name of "Mahdi" of all people in the world? I now wonder if I really will become Wali Allah at 38 years old, just by knowing how to read Arabic language, it is enough I remember - to be a Wali Allah need to know how to read Arabic language. It's like a rule to be it.
I wonder why (S) didn't have baby with monkeyface and pregnant a future Wali Allah when doctors have confirmed if she have baby with monkeyface her son is a Wali Allah. I'm glad it didn't happen I assume and I gained more chances of getting her. I wonder how to get her love but if she's fine like this I wonder why too, I hope the most longest duration is she wait for Imam Mahdi to decide her best husband, hahaha I really don't know how to get her and Imam Mahdi being used to try grasp her into my life as my wife or become in relationship with me. It's bad if she really don't love me but I feel that she's my soulmate, I really feel helpless during the time she tunang with monkeyface, she wear so nicely like a marriage look ruining my happiness putting me into like a depression, she didn't care or feel anything about me then I understood, different than my imagination of understanding she feels the same about me that I'm her soulmate, that she's leaving to marry another man, I wonder why I experienced something like this in life, it's too heavy but I have gone through it.
I'm sad about how long I will get to work at Popeyes then I am experiencing back pain now, I should stop exercising already, I then read that 2 times a week of exercise is enough, maybe due to exercising daily caused me to get backpain, I'm so unlucky like someone that cannot achieve goals to become a good person that earns money ownself.
Later near noon I think I would learn Iqra and improve my reading speed just like that, and hope I gain more understanding of the different ways of writing an Arabic text. I wonder how this will happen.
Next year is definitely the year I'm taking O-level then I became a schoolboy again or I just will continue working and earning money? I wonder like this, I feel like I should just be busy earning money, but I really want to become stronger mentally and it's learning about Psychology.
My family feel nothing about imagining me having no money to spend but my brother have given me money, and they seem okay about it sadly. I wonder when's the $10K that my mother plan to give me 1 day, it's so boring and I really want to feel like a person having money.
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