4.46gb/400gb Data

The price of cigs. been increased by 20%, this makes quitting cig. is more likely to happen. Today I went to shop and it's closed, then another shop doesn't sell cig. today as it need to recalculate the price.

This morning my brother bought McDonalds Pancake with Sausage and I feel good eating it. It's been quite long since it's like this and my mind now is mentally unstable like "will I smoke or not?" etc. it's really difficult.

The data reset is in 2 or 3 days, then I'm really right it's the same the next time getting money from government is August($850) then September($400) then December($250). Now is February, have March($144), April($216), May($216 - I assume the same), June & July. I'm really coming to month that this started, I hope I get a good job as Data Entry or Dishwasher as start, it is definitely a fixed job to do until next year, I remember doctor saying about Soldier Job or Hacker Job but it looks like not happening at all, I wonder why it's like that?

Just now as I wrote this I fall asleep then I woke up from the toilet needs as I drank a lot of cold water, my mind really is okay now understanding cig. price as will rise.

Goals:

1) Quit Smoking (Cig. Price will increase anyway)

2) Anbernic RG477V ($241)

3) Staying at a Job Given by Jobclub

4) Motorcycle License

5) Car License

6) Buy K.R Motorcycle

7) Buy Small Lorry (As old age, life fun is for nephews to feel the enjoyment)

8) O-Level 2027 or Stable Job by e2i?

I really need to think properly, as Soldier Job is my goal and require diploma, taking 2027 O-level is fine I think, but if the point to be someone that have certificate, even private is fine I guess to be like my 1st sister.

I really feel fine smoking 1 stick only from my brother, the earthquake feeling really gone even if smoke a red. After resting I still feel healthy, today I've only smoked 3 cig. in total and it's 3pm now, I really think it can be my last day of smoking. Tomorrow is Saturday then Sunday, then Work, the end is really when I start receiving money for work, and February is the last month my Nurse will visit me I think. I feel I can become a better man already, and I really have no idea how someone sick like me can get a girl at all. I'm just too sick and unstable and unlucky my lover left me with my sickness then I'm thinking of them when it's their turn getting schizophrenia and hearing voices. Wonder why it's like that isn't all the memories important phase for future life to talk about together? We really loss communication for so long.

I didn't dream of anything when I sleep in the noon I think, my head feels cold like a recovery can happen to me, it should be usually like this whenever I wake up a cold feeling at my head and neck calms me down, it's maybe from the medicine.

Really the stories of me receiving money like not happening as fact, I really feel nothing there's no talk that excite me from my mother, maybe because I do not Solat as the main reason, I wonder why it's like that even if schizophrenia I have to experience like a ruling system for them to give me money.

I think I really have to hope on doctors and my relatives on getting (S) or other girls, maybe life becomes like Hisyammuddin he getting the girl of his dreams from help of doctors and relative. Maybe it's the same outcome for me 1 day? I really hope so.