Boring life remaining the same

My mother and 2nd sister didn't reply, I wonder when is it then, why do I end up to become someone that have no money, why do I end up becoming slow in earning money? Like nobody cares about me, the only help I receive is my brother, I wonder why they want me to experience difficulty when life can be different already?

I don't know what to do in life, I really think like I will work cleaner due to desperation, my status of life is really like that in future? A cleaner? I wonder why my family don't mind if I become a cleaner too, it's already like a cleaner cleaning the leaves and wiping tables, mopping floors, wiping doors, but jobclub best is like that, I really need to work anything I can as long as I earn money. I wonder what I should do, I really feel like working cleaner nowadays, my scores in exam became meaningless then I become a cleaner? Why did I become a stupid person? Nobody is helping me it's clear, my mother read my message but ignored me, my 2nd sister haven't replied me yet, I wonder how long I would be thinking of money, I don't know what makes them see this as something fine in life, nobody is helping me anything. I feel like asking my 1st sister now too if she remember, then I don't think I can ask my brother about money as I think last year he don't want me to ask about money.

Life is hard, doing nothing everyday is making me crazy too, I really need to think of something but I can't, I really need to work something but I'm waiting for jobclub instead, it's the only path that knows what I can work as anyway, this is really too long and I'm feeling like a hard growth in life, like I cannot grow or fix myself, this difficulty meant to be experienced and written like this, why are they being like this to me?

It's weird I have to endure my life, and nobody cares, this means the number of viewers each post doesn't really mean anything, it's like I'm just writing freely in the end just waiting for old stories to happen, like seeing if it's real or not etc. I really have nobody supporting me my entire schizophrenic moments, I can't remember having so much money in my life, it's all a dream I think that I ever received money from around me, it's weird my parents don't let me live with money, I think I just need to ask to borrow money instead, they just being like this continuously kind of frustrating my heart and mind.

I really don't know what they're thinking, they let me live on without trying for the girl I wish for, then I have to wait and see their expression as being true to not trying, I really am pissed off and I feel like giving up on any girls too, I can really make my own marriage meaningless too, life without support is crazy, just normal common sense but the common sense of giving monthly money don't exist in my family at all, life really have to experience suffering and for what? I don't understand why they being stingy about money if ever told me going to give me a lot, I really just suffer and they don't mind me stress about having no money.