I'm happy that today is Saturday I have 2 rest days left including tomorrow, time really pass quickly, will get a job in 2 weeks hopefully. Then I will be a working man - Monday to Friday work? Wow my life really have no time to rest to focus on medications. I really wonder when I will take vehicle license too, it's really tough being a schizophrenic and thinking about alot of things to do, maybe it's still too early to be thinking of it, because it's not even March, tomorrow is 1st March.
My Simba data usage: 1.90gb/400gb.
Just now this morning I really feel the pleasure of spike but i think it's like the Fluoxetine could be the cause of nice feelings too, but I remember it can't be so nice then it just means the spike became like a tissue and stuck in my body maybe, it's more than 6 months already and I still feel something, I wonder what drug type is it why is it so strong to last for so long. I remember someone died from meth before maybe the way of consumption matters.
I wonder when I will feel better in life, it's already turning into March and I had done January and February Jobclub then still have to do March, getting a job is really so long? I remember 1 of the patient have to do 3 days a week if I'm the same then it means April I have to do 3 days a week too? This means I will get a job in May or June then? Why is it so long to get the $1000+/mth kind of life, I'm really suffering and it's hard life like this, I just have to maintain being as stable as I can working this first, I really sad how small girl fooled me of getting money from my aunt, it's turning March and still nothing, it's maybe June or I don't know when is it, why is it so long to feel safe and ease about money?
Sakinah is at home today I assume then still another day of wasting time that she don't contact me at all, my life is like meaningless without her, I wonder when will my memory come back about the other girls Wahdiah and Shahridah, it's impossible that I ask for a break-up I wonder what the split-up going to do to me, but then I remembered that Shahridah's Title is Mdm in her school, it means like she's no longer mine as married to someone else. I really loss 2 girls because of Alisha and I can't do anything about it. There's no penalty maybe because she's too small so nobody sued her, but I remember I will receive money but could be just stories of herself to comfort me again like I thought I will be getting money from my Aunts. I really don't know my future many times anymore, the future-information been edited into lies and her fooling sentences became the voices I hear instead. It sucks I have no one to comfort me about money except thinking and hoping my brother support me even if I save up the $1000 he gave me. I really just have to survive until August then I'm fine.
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