Neighbour gave nice cookies and keropok for C.N.Y I ate almost half of the cookies and some keropok with sambal kacang to eat like gado-gado. I'm really thinking what to do, it's 2pm+ now, I still haven't downloaded PSP games, Tekken as the main plan, I really dislike fighting games cant believe I'm becoming something like that, maybe it's just too dull my life.
I think I will just work anything from jobclub it feels like they're the only one that can give me the best job, then it's not stable, then I checked for S.A.F and need diploma I really hopeless, I can't even be a soldier, I wonder why doctors talk about Soldier Job even, I think it's all been a dream then, I really don't know what to do, feeling ambitious like a good future then it's all been a dream and hearing voices of lies of the small girl most probably. I think we naturally remembers what is painful then forgot if people have ever attacked us, but then maybe it's for schizophrenic only, as I take medicine I can still remember. It's harsh I really don't know what to do in life.
Maybe I should apply job at 7-11? I can't think of a nice job except Warehouse Assistant as the most manly-sound, I think I'm just being pushed to become a cleaner kind of job by my family, they really just making me like this kind of life for no reason, I wonder why they making me feel my life like this, I really don't know where to work at.
I don't know why I have little support in life, my family rather I go become a cleaning person than stay at home focusing on medicine, it's really bad the anger from getting nothing is crazy, I only estimate to survive this month, then next month have $144 to survive until April, life's really bad and have to be like this, I really just need to calculate myself like not buying chicken chop with tomato rice anymore, or buying drinks, then only cigs. for entire month, I really can't do anything my family is like this, don't know why people of smaller houses actually live better than me anyway, it's weird my luck in life is really stupid, they didn't support me even if I have schizophrenia.
I think I just wait until Mid March like story of O.T discussing with me at that time for a job, wow it's so long still 1 month to go, and I really have to go through this? I think it's really violent push for my life to become survival over and over again, firstly I didn't ask for money at first since August until January for EZ-link I've been paying myself, then it's so many months I didn't get money from my parents.
I will search for a job again.
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