I feel like applying for Soldier Job but it require Diploma I think to work in S.A.F, then I wonder what to do, I really need to be a stable job kind of person I can take my medications everyday, I saw that even Encik ranks as Corporal then I feel like I can just apply as S.A.F person, I wonder if I can become a successful person with this kind of growth, every Fri, Sat, Sun it gets damn boring and I should be doing something, I feel like setting up a nice button point for PSP on Android then play PSP games, I really hope I can configure a nice feeling to play it normally.
It's hard because when I ask my mother about money, my mother talks like I hear voices instead it's bad then memory of my brother paying for my license is correct, does it mean maybe June then I will get money? My mother is really not giving me money at all, I don't like if I can't handle my life myself. I'm so angry, then I read if get angry easily is someone that lie alot, I wonder why it's like that I thought it's "need love" at first, I definitely don't have my soulmate with me.
Wonder how to apply for S.A.F work, my N.S records was really bad then I really want a Stable Image like Hisyammuddin became to work S.M.R.T despite the confidence he gave was not high then still became successful, I really hope I can become strong like him.
I don't feel like my life will get easier because my parents doesn't support me with money, I just live in calculation of $144 in March, imagine $130 for 1 month of cigs. then $14 left for drinks etc. I'm really suffering but they don't care and consider this as giving me life already. I really don't know what to do, should I apply for job at Popeyes myself? Will I work properly? Will there be a nicer job like data entry from jobclub? If their ideas of work can lead to become a higher status in the job, I definitely can become stable somehow? I wonder what work I should do.
I sometimes imagine myself feeling at peace, then sometimes schizophrenic still because of hearing girls' voices then I think I've been tricked by small girl in M.R.T to not get (S) at all, she interrupted my tries that's like Once in a Lifetime and I feel it's a horrible life I wonder when's the Karma going to happen, when is the Retribution? Life's so unfair and they really don't mind the small girl doing such thing to me until now, all can be done was a beating but I didn't beat her and she still confident in expressing of winning me instead, what a bad girl, now she's university age and older I hope her luck is not so good in life.
Previous post I only got 5 views I no longer care what the number means but if to assume as "Priority Post" I wonder why someone really made me think they are reading but doesn't tell me what they think too. My comments been empty and no body interacting with me anything.
I wonder if I should really just apply at Popeyes but I rather work a line that nobody really knows me, like Dishwasher. I don't want to look famous because of work, Popeyes is like a place to become famous like McDonalds. I really wonder what I will become in future. I feel like stopping jobclub then find a job myself as fact but I can't do it, I know it's hard to get a job.
Assuming my blog as having no reader, I can't get anyone to direct to my family an attention that I am trying hard to survive life and then become in thinking nobody cares to support me but just digging what I become, isn't it like trying to create heartache to me, my mother proven not giving me money at all today sadly.
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