I know why I feel bad today

It's because my injection is finishing the medicine inside body is going to be finished, it last only for 4 weeks, no wonder I feel higher earthquake inside my heads and like my eyes rotating upways but it did not like a pressure in my eyes, about schizophrenia loss memory is always eyes become all-white first.

Happy I discovered the reason, I was thinking why I feel hot for 2 days already then it's the schizophrenia medicine need to "topup" tomorrow. After work I will go for injection then it's a new month to wait for, I'm really happy it's going to be March, I remember since end June last year I was taking Medicine, so it will extend until March - July, Aug, Sep, Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb, Mar - it's going to be 9months I'm on medications I'm really happy and excited but I wonder why nobody makes me feel no worries about money at all, I just need to wait and wait and earn myself, different than Hisyammuddin received help in 6 months exactly I think or when he works at McDonalds he received help, I really hope for a relief of stress like he gets this is really a lot of fast heartbeat to be waiting for August.

I really don't know who to tell my problems to, the attention I got from my blog is not enough I can only guess (R) as the frequent reader of my blog then I remembered that time I think of marrying (R), "if I don't meet (S) anymore because don't know where to find her", suddenly I met (S) in M.R.T, then (A) and (W) was on the phone in M.R.T I think, all the 4 girls are around, including (R) as the loudspeaker to talk, then small girl was around also ruining my chance of breaking (S) up and being together with her, I don't know why its like that, I thought true love will impact like bulu roma ternaik but she went on and tunang with the monkeyface. It's really sad my true love didn't impact for real, I was in delusional of soulmate love that we cant be together because she's unsure of my feelings because I have schizophrenia and I "may be lying or randomly saying I love" her or to any girls(which I didn't). She's the only one I became like that. I really dont know why true love didn't impact like magically helping me, I am sad love is not like a movie, she went on to have her forehead kissed by monkeyface and had no feelings for me for real, I'm so sad it's been so many years.

Why is she doing this to me like not telling me of her feelings?