Just now I close my eyes I saw a negro man in a jeans jacket and red t-shirt and black sunglasses I wonder what it means, my vision like this it just appeared into my eyes like a dream, I have nobody to tell me what it means at all. I'm not even sleepy when it happened, why are my eyes like that?
I really don't know what to do, March is a long way to go, it's another 8 working days to go until I get a job from jobclub, I wonder if I can do it, I really want to work something that's more than $1000/mth at least so I can survive life, it's really harsh sometimes I feel like I cannot work, sometimes I feel like I can work, I wonder why it's like that my feelings? I really hope I can survive this February, I really planning to pay the phone bills myself at least but why I have to experience all these?
The previous jobclub was easy job I really feel like asking to work there permanently but they need to wear safety boots so I can't, I definitely have to work something else, it's $6/hr kind of work, really lightweight and I'm happy about it. I wonder if I should continue searching for a job at FastJobs, it's really hard life without a job that I can hold onto, then my attitude like this, nobody pity that someone like me have to find a job and work, then I remember again that Hisyammuddin can do it means I must be able to, it's really tough and shocking it will definitely make me feel like a powerful man if I get to work again, I wonder why the wait is this known kind of schedules, I really have no one to depend on too, money comes in by luck if my brother give me that's all, it's nothing fixed, I really don't know what to do to keep having money to buy RG477V and my needs clashes, but RG477V really can become something I spend time on daily and time can passby really fast hopefully because of it. It's like imagination of a struggle to go through it, will it be worth it my endurance? Definitely. I check it's $339 the 12gb ram one, but I think doctor ever said of me buying the $242 one, I think it's going to be $242 the cheapest one. I wonder why have another priced at $460+ then why is it like that? What if I buy then have no games inside, I imagine the price of $460+ is something for that? Maybe it's something else, nobody tells why it's expensive too - it's something about GammaOS maybe not important because people can play games already.
I looked at a lot of babies videos then I ambitious to become a father and grandfather, my age 38 yrs old this year will such thing even happen? I'm too late to search for a girl, (S) is going to be my choice and decision, (W) and (A) didn't try to hold on to me is weird why the love is like that? I really wonder what will happen in our life, will I become somebody good about jobs 1 day like them too? They're definitely a nice status kind of people while I'm just schizophrenic and going to work something that don't require certificate at all, it's really harsh life got to be like this. I hope jobs can be faster than Mid March, I really just want to work and that's it, my goal for more than $1000 kind of salary is the point to survive this life first, working anything that I can.
It's hard if going to wait so long like a schedule, like knowing when my ease will happen in life, it really can become faster I hope but why it's like this instead? I remember the previous patient at jobclub "many times" there already, working 3 days a week, I hope I don't become slow like him in getting a job, but it's my only path of earning money slowly, doctors didn't tell what job I will work too, I wonder what will happen to me can I really survive, it sounds easy whenever I have money for cig., then it becomes hard on the day enduring from cig., why is my life like this kind of physical feelings?
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