Maybe just weird clickers

It's weird I got 4 readers the previous post, then my application for advertisement got rejected then I give up, it doesn't matter anymore, maybe it's my uncle that reads with my aunt. Then I only have 1 reader then if it's just random refreshes.

I collected my new spectacle just now and I'm happy about it. Lately my mind like have nothing to write anymore, I've learn Iqra already then I still haven't read up about Traffic Signs yet, haven't really focused on it yet, I messaged my O.T about dishwasher job and telling I "prefer to work at Popeyes though", I ask for dishwasher job first then changing to Popeyes something like that.

There's no response so maybe no luck of getting a job faster, definitely it will be April or May then, I hope I get data entry job too.

My mind like a mess awhile just now, because I suddenly feel like I'm missing more than 1 girl, like to have somebody in life with me even if (S) don't love me, I really am getting old not married and can't become a grandfather? I really need to focus on work alone then hopefully the pain goes away, there's a weird hard feelings in my body that I think it's the cause of schizophrenia but I don't feel hot, then maybe it's still better this way just taking medicines daily and heeding to (S) about following O.T whatever job given to go with the flow, in M.R.T don't know if she remembers, I really don't know how the conversation became like that too, I was crazy in love then until now still is in love I can't do anything about it. I feel helpless, I feel like "love causes me to become schizophrenic". I really don't know what to do, I just need someone to love me.

I don't know where to search for girls anymore, this age is usually definitely too late already girls have touched guys and can't fall in love easily in the first place, life's definitely hard and I can't do anything about it.