The many years just gone like that, my effort are proven will be useless 1 day, then it's better to stop putting effort on my past, my family told me to forget the past anyway, just heartlessly maybe including this too, I'm so unlucky I wasted my life having nobody in the end, the small girl have destroyed my life successfully, I'm just imagining a life with (S) that isnt happening, life's so useless.
I will work through February then maybe March too then maybe get a job in April hopefully, I really feel like trying for dishwasher job because it's quite high salary $2000+ it wrote but I wonder if I can really survive the job, I also saw production operator jobs like nothing wrong about it too, but I fear that nobody knows the condition I will be in then it's hard as no O.T to monitor me about it with the boss, to tell my needs of injection monthly will be difficult, I wonder how to get a proper job, it looks tempting to work dishwasher as like a lot of openings, just some require safety shoes which is bad for me as I will be in pain.
Life vision about my future is like meaningless, I really have no clue how anyone would forgive me and it's just gone just like that from the small girl. She's a troublemaker of my happiness, I wonder what else more will she destroy in my life.
If I'm ever getting married definitely I won't invite her to my wedding, she's so bad and unforgivable, she's the bad luck of my life experiences more than 15 years long, it's terrible I have no one to comfort me to think it as nothing is impossible. My life is really wasted I have nothing in the end after hoping so strong, prayers never get answered because it's a feeling of other people, people should stop telling to pray and zikir, it's a waste of time and meaningless.
No comments:
Post a Comment