Tomorrow 3rd day of work!

Hahaha just showing off I have a cool number, it feels fast that I'm already reaching the extension until March.

I'm at Day 178 out of ward on medications and total of 226 days on medications. I remember like it's 182 days then I will receive money as support but I really don't know if it's true, like nobody remember me as fact.

Just now I go down to vending machine because shop is closed, to buy Redbull, I feel energetic this morning because of sweet drinks, I really thinking how to save money, as a quote said about focus on solutions, not problems. It's like I have to create an extension of 4 days per box instead of 3 days per box of cigs. I really need to save up.

Yesterday I thought of learning Traffic Signs but I didn't search for them online, I think I will do it later, in order to pass my future vehicle license I really need to do this, I really have nobody supportive of my medicine like gifts of successful intake, except my bro ever given me $200 this month. I have $117 left around like this to survive until end of this month, I think I can really do this.

It's scary like a panic of having no money, then I think last year's conversation just been replaying in my mind about Bik Isah understanding the panic.

My Simba data usage is 3.46gb/400gb and tomorrow I will get to use them normally again browsing TikTok and Facebook during my break time at work and in bus. I really hope the nicer feelings of working comes back because I will think about focusing on medications instead but when I think of Hisyammuddin I remember he go through this phase of life successfully and he definitely not regretting and being an example to follow. Maybe it's just that my schizophrenia is bad but it's not that he went through it peacefully, definitely a lot of harshness to go through.

I'm just goaling to have the $10K from my mother then I guess if I can't save from small amount to be given by others, then with it I will use to buy RG477V, it's really harsh I keep having it in my mind then thinking about doctors, I wonder which voice-memory is truth, I really have to go through this kind of life experience for so many years.

I'm thinking what to do other than traffic signs and Iqra, there's definitely something else that I can do, maybe to search for prices of motorcycles? Hahaha, I really feel bored and (S) really not accompanying me by contacting me, she's busy spending time with her niece must be, wonder what her life is like, I saw that she wear tudung now I wonder if I really match her but my ex really wear tudung before too when I went out with her. I think it's just a wear anyway, and I hope Imam Mahdi appear faster so can match me with her, definitely I'm real in matter of love that's forever.