3 more days 2nd last day jobclub work.

I'm tired of my life, I remember something about Solat, doctor said that I will Solat 1 day then it becomes something permanent in my life, I also remember something about Smoking, April I will no longer smoke something like that, I feel energetic at work today I shake my legs a lot then remembered about facts that it means I'm someone of high intelligence, I hope it's right. I wonder when people will be nice to me, I'm a survival life for so long in my life, taking medicine is like hiking a mountain, even without exercise it's painful for a schizophrenic to believe as someone thats not insane and require medicine. "Makan obat punya orang" like Malays would say about my character maybe but it means I'm crazy, someone like me still a fat hope can get Sakinah, I wonder when I will start Solat like story of doctor, it's definitely going to be fast as I just start 1 day, just Al-Ikhlas repetitively, I really dont know what to do in my life, I feel weak and hopeless.

I think to consider myself as someone rejected by Sakinah because after so long I'm still not important to her, I haven't gave up but she didn't put me into a situation that I should give up like "getting married" or "get/got married", means my last news of her is only tunang that "Iman" calls her his wife on Instagram. I feel I should give up and just imagine her mother and self damage masturbation, I really have no hope in life anymore, love is meaningless to me, it's not like a magic which impact to tell the person we love about getting this kind of special love from us, I'm sad love is weak and not a fighter of information, love does not tell our feelings, we just feel love and suffer in it, until suffocation of vision of Sakinah's face, burning me into a secret micro hotness that exist in my body, missing her burns my life that I feel it's deadly and lovesick right away.

I remember I won't miss any jobs in April, and I'm continuing like that until 2027, then the hardship is over because I will have money continuously, I plan to buy Jeans Jacket or Denim Jacket because it looks cool to wear, then alot of t-shirt but I'm sad I have tattoo or it's not long enough to be satisfying to wear t-shirt normally. I wish someone guide and plan for me.