I'm inside bus now otw home. Unknown date of transfer of salary, money still haven't get yet, I was assuming it's today because it's Monday and working day in March but then when I check it's still none.
Happy I've done my first day of this month, 9th Workday.
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I've reached home now, just now I stopped writing as got people behind me I don't want to be read inside bus. My Ayatul Kursi necklace is still not here yet maybe it's tomorrow? But it already wrote as "out for delivery" so maybe today. Weird it still wrote estimation as "tomorrow". Haha.
I hope it exist some powers like dream of a true matter, answers like knowing my soulmate or how to get soulmate. I used to recite Ayat Kursi everytime when I doa something, it used to happen for 1 year like that daily Ayat Kursi, now it's no longer done because I gave up, Allah didn't really help me at all. I think this year is going to be my final year. The one guiding me at jobclub say that to work for 1 year when get a job then marry, I really hope I get married soon too because I'm too lonely, then I imagine I will work only until December or November then school O-level next year.
I need to upgrade back my PES status so I can become a Soldier, PES E9L9 is the weakest then I'm that, I'm so weak by fact then it's the same like that when government judged me as E9L9, people expecting me to work instead of supporting with money is like torturous how nobody cares even if I'm low PES like that? I really hope I can work already. Today is another $18 and I'm happy about it.
I think I will wear the necklace everytime I sleep to obtain a miracle dream hopefully, that voices of small girl no longer exist, it's just bad I hear it then it's not Satan then it's like Satanic because a lot of foolings and lies, then it's the small girl like still alive in my hearing senses, I'm so unlucky schizophrenia or my memory is this strong and weak at the same time, it's like "moments I haven't remembered all yet" then I hear sentences of lies of the small girl then I take action because believing about it. So suay, loss 2 beautiful girls because of Alisha then nobody pitied me or updating me about the 2 girls, they let me be living my life with nothing, most probably because "being in relationship is Haram" anyway, it's bad I can't get myself a wife like this, I really wonder what to do in life.
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