Day 208 outside ward(256 on medications)

Yesterday I dreamt a lot: a talking prawn that captured a lot of baby fishes at my wall, I imagined it's Alisha's voice that caused the dream then the fish was actually worried that I might eat it. I dreamt about red pills as drugs, about 10 of red pills, that my nephew take to pretend as his prescription to hide from police, in this dream I was living at my 2nd sister's old house at Blk 554 with my nephew.

I really wonder what the dream means, it cant be about Matrix(Red Pills) because I dont know in Matrix have such pills. It's too bad doctors not in touch with me to tell me about my dreams definition.

I also dreamt of my Math teacher of BNSS 3H Mr. Tan(or his name is Koh or Lau) I really forgot his name, that he will cover that I have 10 Red Pills with me. It's a weird dream the red pills definitely symbolize drugs and not about Matrix's red pills.

My Simba data usage: 3.07gb/400gb. Today they deducted $10 to reset the line, time really flies it's so fast.

I'm currently happy that I may get to work at Marsiling Mall as dishwasher, I hope I last for 1 year at there, it's really difficult life I just need a job to support myself, I really wonder if I will really be okay too. I wonder when's the job, I hope it don't make me work 3 days a week on April and just get the job in March, it's really hard if imagine working so long at jobclub, the energy of working is low but it looks like I am energetic to work at Marsiling Mall, but I will work anyway if get the job.

Today I wear the "Life" T-Shirt that I bought meant for jobclub(but they gave Shirt to work) and I feel like a nostalgia feeling about my life when I go to elevator outside my house. It's really a fast journey, it was January when I had this T-Shirt now it's March 10th, this T-Shirt is really part of my Life History of recovery from schizophrenia, I'm really happy I decided to buy a cheap T-Shirt to work at jobclub so as not to dirty nicer T-Shirt.

I realized I only have some T-Shirts that I can use for work as Dishwasher 1 day, then I think to use it for working as Dishwasher, because it's definitely going to be wet, I really hope I don't become lazy to work and still have the energy to keep working anyway. $10/hr is the least salary then I hope it's around that or more too, I really need a job that's $1000+/mth first as this is still my recovery phase, I hope I survive this until O-level plan, wonder if I will really take O-level or just keep working as Dishwasher from jobclub.