Day 225 outside ward(273 on medications)

My Simba data usage: 1.72gb/400gb.

I forgot what I dreamt about but something about bread I think, it's weird to forget dreams, now in my vision is Sakinah(like always) and Ustaz Harunarrashid been 2-3 days, I wonder why Sakinah don't pity me, I feel weak from this. I remember about Ali able to carry heavy object during fasting month then when his wife died he can't even carry her, definitely my love for Sakinah is something like this but why she don't care about it?

I hope psychics help me in my life, I really don't understand why this is something good to be treated this way, it's like "if know how to raise a child" the child will become someone of high status, then my future is psychologist/psychiatrist, president of Singapore, president of MUIS, 10th Wali Songo, right hand man of Imam Mahdi - then why now I feel like my parents don't care about me? Should I believe doctor about my future like that? Doesnt it mean I become someone that Solat daily, I become someone that read Al-Quran daily? Why is my future like that then I'm feeling like this like a 21-22 years old guy. It's like I thought Dina is still 3 years old named as Adriana in my dream, then I ever thought Dina is Selena Gomez, why schizophrenic identify people wrongly until like this?

I wonder what my real future is like? Cant Sakinah just be around for me? Why isn't she around for me when I need her the most, I remembering feeling burnt like missing her, then by voices of Alysha I feel burnt, then Sakinah isn't around or psychics isn't around to stop her from talking(shouting outside window) to me. Does psychic actually know at all? Is my number registered 10+ years ago first before Simba company exist first known as TPG I think? I hope someone talk to me about my sickness nicely, in April I will work dishwasher then I am hoping for Ustaz Harunarrashid's help because I remember about the Military Jacket I plan to buy, I wrote "Drool" then he saw but it could be a dream too, maybe it's just a dream, but why Alysha drag until Ustaz to make me feel like getting money, isn't she taunting that I will feel bad in life about money?