I have to see life like I will have no one with me, my old seriousness in expressing myself when wanted to suicide(about flirting to get rejected but ended quite calmly) makes me wonder what they all think of me, but as a shy person I think I still have no information on it, I hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings because matter of love is not a joke or something to play about, the thing is I think it's like I broke the peace when flirt with someone, the world supposed to be calm and no stress of relationship stories but it exist from me 4 times to 4 person in I.M.H, maybe theyre trained to ignore me but I'm glad its okay, Monday will be my last day and my good bye to the place, then in 4 years I will appear again as a doctor of I.M.H, that's what doctor said(5 years) and I'm happy about it. Hahaha.
Why they don't give me confidence about my future like tell me if my future is really a doctor of I.M.H? I've been in I.M.H since primary school or babies then suddenly I'm going back there again as A Doctor? Why if I become a doctor someone that don't want me then I suddenly go back with them? But I remember something like Wahdiah didn't want break-up like me, like Shahridah didn't want break-up like me, but it happened the split-up is so long yet they don't effort to have ties with me like keep in touch, it's sad they don't try I feel bad(as in I didn't become healthier) about it, I wonder why I'm left alone by everyone for so long.
Today I blog again at night it's quite rare even during my off day but my energy have shifted to be available to blog even at night.
I hope doctors comfort me about people's decision to my life if I'm really becoming somebody, pain is really unnecessary, lightness is everything to keep my energy and happiness.
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