For Calmness and Memories and Brain Power I feel like it's worth it to buy, just the price can't even add 12 cent somewhere I really don't know what cheap things to buy.
Nvm, I'll pause the buy for awhile, I'm just thinking of adding cheap stuff later. The Mood Support Pills maybe promoted me to have a nice dream sometimes then it's okay to be like that first I guess.
My mind is really occupied now, I walked a lot in my room just now and I worry if dark vision happens too early, it wouldn't be nice my entire day if experience dark vision.
Story of Dajjal really is something even after writing that I'm sad like Wahdiah and Shahridah don't care I ever felt that way, they didn't appear to tell me I'm not Dajjal, but consider me normal and not considering me like a schizophrenic, means they maybe merajok that I ask for split-up making no way for a cure to happen to me. It's really bad the decision to be distant so long(more than 20 and 15 years), and I feel like ruining the relationship, I wonder why Sakinah didn't comfort me too, maybe in my memories she does or that I don't know if she or Alisha is the one that speak nice things then Alisha pretended Sakinah spoke to me nice things instead, then actually at that time Sakinah tunang with "Iman", my luck is like that.
As I live, Fandi Ahmad's daughter is also named as "Iman" so it becomes weird thinking of a girl and boy at the same time, but then she became a sexy figure that actually people would want to see Daughter of Fandi Ahmad sexy? Then it's not nice if she keep it up, my dream is like that, I told her not to wear too sexy. People definitely want to see a famous person's family like naked anyway? Even if not naked it's too sexy, I hope she don't ruin herself.
Anyway, Sakinah if spoke nice to me or not I really hope she does, I hope she support my recovery from distance through doctor but doctor didn't talk to me about her at all ever since last year maybe? It's too long then she really didn't attempt to be nicer to me? I really should move on, I really think I must work properly this time and just forget her. I feel like wanting a relationship with someone that cares about me actively and not in secret, it's not nice if to think "secretly cares or not", nobody cares about sincerity "of people knowing or not", but she should just either give herself to me or clearly care about me for me to feel better, it's so unclear and I have nothing to be happy about her. Only imaginations that I'm not sure that she "susah senang bersama" with me. It's sad, Sakinah should become someone that makes me happy, but I'm delusional if like that kind of thinking or feeling? I'm sad I can't survive normally but just praying I will make it at CleanMark Solutions.
No comments:
Post a Comment