It's hard they really like pretend not remembering me at all, but because my recovery I haven't really remembered I was there, am I finally going to become someone that don't seem like a lazy person and go to work everyday? I hope so, it's only 6 hours so I should be fine I guess.
The imagination of money to be secured by May, I hope it's really that fast too, because 1st April is the starting day, it's really a happy ending or not? Will I meet Sakinah again? Will there be someone that knows I have schizophrenia and somehow help my recovery to be faster? Like will I get to get benztropine faster because of this person? I regard the medicine like a pleasure pill because of feeling something nice when taking benztropine, I have anhedonia so I really want some pleasure in my life.
The imagination like it's a set-up exist like doctors monitor my work but I don't know if any of the worker are under instruction from doctor, I remember 1 of them brought 1 big water bottle, I hope there's a set-up that can create me working a stable job like joining the government, because of my high scores in N-level, because I'm a hacker, and because I've suffered 2 love relationship that's loss from Alisha, like doctor or someone pitied my life story and decided to help me get a stable job.
I saw orang gila at coffee shop just now, she reminds me if people see me that way like someone crazy in Woodlands, I walk around Woodlands a lot with messy hair like the woman, it's harsh my life, but the woman talks to herself while I don't, I wonder why she's very free most of the time, like nobody cares of her, does my family want me to become like that like having nobody and keep walking around Woodlands? Making me work without thinking of my strength is weird, I remember I quit this job last year because of medicine overdose then I became lazy to work, I wonder why I didn't remember this part of my life or why they don't remind me about it too.
There don't seem to be anyone watching me, but maybe normal eyes meetup that's all, then how my top hacker in the world can work a government job? It's really weird my ranking I should be a level wanted by government but nobody cares or support my life. I wonder why they allow me to have a shitty and useless feeling.
I imagine this - simplifying getting $1000 in April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. It's easily $9000 like that, but doctor say I will save $50K/$75K within 38-41 years old, how much my salary will be? Doesn't it mean I won't be taking O-levels? I'm going to work here for 3 years?
Why no friends contact me yet - 80244202 I leave my number again to luck about anyone contacting me but it's always the same no one cares at all? Why are people like this to me they already living their own life, while we reaching 40 years old(or they have reached this age) then actually to imagine them getting to 60 years old then I'm long gone from their life. They don't care about a friend at all. It's weird Sakinah let me a solo life too, if she accompany my days it would be nicer, cant she spend weekends with me and her niece? I want my life to be happier and different but it's still like impossible, jobclub is the next phase to complete then it's going to be a working life here. I'm finally happier it's going to be the end, it looks like I won't gain any friends too because everyone looks like independent worker.
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