Nobody is supporting my love story of my wish because Sakinah don't appear in my life when I want her to, it's like she's waiting for me to be working too, like no extra talks to pity me that I have schizophrenia and tell me to not work and just give me money, it's really bad I have nobody speaking up for me and I just have to live life like what's been given to me, 1 month seems like a short time, because I started jobclub in January, today is 29th March, it's really ending soon, Jobclub made me feel quite happy and the one supervising me made me happy too, I only have tomorrow to do then I'm done with jobclub forever, how will I get girls that I have ever flirt with before? Why is it like this I just have to regard it as a schizophrenic stunt instead of getting them in my life?
It feels like my love story is really not happening, because I have work to do soon, Sakinah can't visit me at workplace it's weekdays 7.30P.M I finish, maybe after her work she's too tired too, except Friday maybe we can be spending time together, but I really don't know how to contact her myself and plan myself, everyday I want to just see her face, even if I save her photo I don't look at her photo everyday, its like she's not really giving me anything in my life and I'm just in love with her, then that's it, means we don't have a connection at all, only doctors that act as barrier to our relationship because of Islam teaches that relationship is Haram, it's hard my luck, I really just hope I will work well this April. May will be the month I take Motorcycle License, I really hope I can do it well, I really want an easier life.
Then stories of doctor taking me to work at ward as a nurse after 3 months dishwasher, is it even real? I really will earn bigger in life doing easy job? Nurse looks small size but still can work means I can do it too, I really want an easy life and earn big money, but I really don't know it could be just a dream and I'm schizophrenic, will it also mean that I will remove tattoo this year? Wow is it really ending? Another pain of my life.
Pain of life:
Jobclub's little money
Cigarette but I don't know my brother still smokes
No license
Alysha didn't ease my pain and give me money
Tattoo
I kept getting angry over and over again thinking about Alysha, it sucks my life I hope I recover soon, my accuracy is off even if I bath on time that it means I will break items easily by accident and it means I'm schizophrenic, it's weird the pain of voices are the sentences said, that fumes me up into a hot life journey and experience, I really can't do anything about it but just wait.
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