I really expect like a happy feeling when I'm at there because it's about knowing working location first, wonder why 19th can be my last day of work and just start a.s.a.p, I have to imagine April as still being in jobclub instead. It's really troublesome if it's too slow, the imagination of being low on money is still stronger and I still worry in my heart like a panic about money. August is 5 months to go, I'm really glad the rescue money is just that duration of month, it's still like half a year as fact and it's actually long but I somehow imagine as fast instead.
Around 12.30p.m I will go out to Tampines and see my O.T that's giving me the job, I really have to endure the imagination of "job is starting", but then to understand this as just "sight seeing" at workplace, it's weird we really spent ez-link and it's called as "see first" instead of a confirmation of a working place. I'm really excited how it's actually ending and knowing the salary today too. It's like a heavy wait since January then finally it's mid March and gotten the working location.
I have q.s inhaler to cope my smoking habit and yesterday with it I only managed to smoke 3 cigarettes, it means I will be quitting cigarette for real this time, I'm really happy the decrease as considered a lot and I hope my mental will be stable even if it's low cigarettes per day.
I will leave cigarettes at home as going to worksite today, I hope the expectation is met like a happy feeling when I'm there. I really want this to end and just become a worker then since nobody cares and let me continue working instead of letting me try to enjoy my life after so many years of loss of experiences and moments by giving me money, I really becoming a worker instead of "enjoy life and focus on medications first", like the energy to keep taking medicine being supported is very low as fact.
Yesterday I wonder why my mother tell of Dina's money being taken away and she's missing hundreds of dollars, it happened twice before in the past and it happened again, I wonder why they make-up a situation it makes me feel like it's a lie and she didn't lose any money, because it's like 2 year straight already. Don't know what they are up to.
I will be wearing White MIG T-Shirt and Green Cargo Pants and then maybe bring my console to work site, I will also be wearing Ayatul Kursi necklace. Cant believe the end is feeling so close but then I'm made to wonder if it's really ending by the situation of "salary 16-30 = 7th", it means I have to continue being in Jobclub in March or what because if not I only get 1 day salary(16th March) on the 7th April. Why is it like that like no confirmation?
At least the heavy feelings not too much today as but I hope I don't feel like peeing when in Bus 168 because I plan to drink a lot of cold water to get rid of the heaty feelings that I feel.
Today is Sakinah's 2nd day of the week then I hope my writings made her feel it's still fast to finish work still and not too long too, I hope I got to entertain her boredom and dullness in doing her work at her workplace.
It's weird how psychic had ranked me as top hacker in the world, but more than 20 years I still didn't get a computer job? Isn't Singapore now under hacking attacks like why can't I learn something to work defending Singapore in cyber security as a permanent job because of my skills and ranking? The missing from hacking is maybe due to psychic power if not I would have hacked so many then psychic interfered in the fun I was feeling and I heed only to not be called a criminal. Doctor also said I am the most hacks in the world, the top records of hacking but then because of heeding doctor, I assume it doesn't make me a criminal too. I wonder when I will get a computer job I am already turning 38 years old then my skills are wasted if I don't work something? It still feels like in less than 5 years government will let be work something about computer hacking jobs because doctor had stopped me from hacking for more than 20 years already. It's weird I will become like a Captain or Leader because I'm top hacker in the world? It's cool that Singaporean is the Top Hacker in the World too.
I wonder if I would get money if I enter Guinness World Record 1 day, why doctors didn't put me into Guinness World Record because I'm the Most Numbers of Hacks Done in the World other than being the Best Hacker in the World? I really want easy money for being famous in history too. At least I really became a Man of History like my name would become in Education 1 day as the Top Hacker in the World? Why Doctors just don't let me work for Anbernic or Facebook maybe because I'm the top hacker anyway? It would be fun I would have a stable job.
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