Day 234 outside ward(282 on medications)

It's really a weird feeling, I don't know if I will be strong, I mean today the sleep is like controlled to a timing of 7+a.m to wake up daily, I really want to complete sleep, yesterday I go to toilet in the middle of the night then I worry about my sleep, then feeling lucky today is Sunday. It's going to be a working spree soon, a lot of work but just chasing the $1600 in mind.

My Simba data usage: 2.57gb/400gb.

I really don't know how to be healthier in life, I remember doctor saying that I will quit smoking by this time, and it's like 1st May I will get salary, I really hope it's right, he ever said it's going to be slow like 2.5 cigarette in the end it's going to be 2 cigarettes daily then 1.5 and 1. Means I start smoking half as something important to quit smoking. Today morning I have smoked 2 cigarette, yesterday I smoked 4 cigarette, so it's going to be 3.5 today or 4 again then 3 the next day. It's really heavy the feelings of not getting money, it's like a heavy blow to my head then the voices of Alysha supported the move, liking how I became to be in a bad situation, don't know why she's so different than her parents, it's maybe like I have tattoos then my parents don't have tattoos, something like that.

It's a slow quit smoking days to go through, but I have to do it to match word of doctor. In the middle of the night I woke up to smoke 1 cigarette by the way, I think this is finally going to be my last box smoking half cigarette soon, I really want to feel lighter in life. I know I can't just quit cigarette like that, it made me sick it's better to be slow anyway, just goaling for my salary on 1st May, then I only worked 2 days at dishwasher and really want the energy of work tomorrow and continuously until multiple months, it's a favourite job thing but I experience Alysha's voices deteriorating my health. I hope to remember more of doctor's words, it proves I'm recovering anyway as remember doctor, it takes time I hope it's before I start work I remember all.

Yesterday I feel like Sakinah is watching me through the Police Cam, it's like a repeat of something in life, means Sakinah still having the advantage of knowledge about my life, I really don't know why just looking is okay for her, she should meet me and support me with cash instead, it's really cool how knowing doctors we can become knowing the Police Cam view from I.M.H workers maybe from doctors too, it's like we are future Police but I really want to become a Soldier instead, the weight of Dishwasher maybe the fitness of PES A/B that I can start doing too, maybe means if I take medicine I will be upgraded PES and can apply for Soldier job next year.