My Simba data usage: 3.26gb/400gb.
My work shoes is reaching today finally I will have something nice to wear, hopefully it's not too odd to wear at work because all of them wearing boots. Work is really easy hopefully it continues this way, I just don't want a bad feeling but it appears sometimes but yesterday was smooth. If I work at Halal section, it feels faster and more energetic like wanting an O.T, if work at Non-Halal, it feels like wanting to end it fast, it's weird I don't know why the feeling is like that.
I think blog is just for updates of my recovery, I have nothing left to tell people, my love is not really a standard that someone will truly love me or fall in love with me, I guess. It's all about working hard and earning money now. I really can't do anything to get the attention I want or need, I still feel lovesick but I feel helpless anyway, Sakinah can ask doctor anytime about me but I loss my chance of knowing from doctor anything due to wanting to care for Sakinah as doctors are psychic, I really can't do anything but my wish granted like a sacrifice due to love for her wanting her an easy life of answered questions.
My effort definitely is dying off, because she don't give me the attention after so long so many years, she rather I loss memory multiple times and I remember a quote if a girl talks like a teacher means she have no interest in me, she said "ovary" not "egg"(about making babies), I usually don't say "egg" anyway it's just a common calling in primary school about it, I really have no chance I guess, love cant be forced and my heart and mind can never understand why Allah made me feel this way, I really didnt capture her heart despite all my effort, it's just too fast and something she just need to know to make it work, I really feel angry that I am not getting her to accompany me in my life, it's really a deadmeat life I'm turning 38 and I have no lover, I'm planning to work hard and I just don't know how to get myself a lover yet, because it's impossible to get a lover when my parents don't support me with money, I'm left struggling to earn and save 1 day.
I love the pocket envelope of 100 pieces to save money I plan to save a lot of money that way like suddenly having a lot of money, but I don't know how it can happen, I don't have my jobclub money yet.
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