My 8 Surah Pilihan and Box is status "Out for Delivery" means they're on the way today I will receive them, I'm so happy about it. Yesterday I loss memory awhile about my age I thought I'm about 22 years old then Dina came into my mind that she's 20 years old now, wow she's living the life of couple like I was with Aby at that time, it's such a memory thing and she looks in love in her Instagram and living a nice life.
My last viewers was 21 like it crawled up I wonder what it means too, it's okay anyway the viewers didn't tell me they read my blog. Today I drank redbullz with 1 roll of cigarette using 2 pieces of paper, because my wallet have no cash already and my bank leaving $466+. Haha it's so little but I'm surviving like that. I imagine it's going to be my last batch of cigarette then I will quit hopefully before May, it's hopefully finally the end of cigarette days and I become a better man going through the symptom of quitting cigarette like a lot of fear in heart and panic feelings, it's really bad but I have to try for real this time.
I remember like I will work here for a long time because it's only 4hrs 15mins each time work, it's really fast and a waste if I quit I think, I really don't know why the $200+ and 6 days keep appearing as voices in my head it's really scary like I can't be successful, Alysha is really a nuisance but too bad for me. It's like Amos Yee even if a nuisance his mother loves him. I'm sad how angry I am wanting this schizophrenia to end then I want the nostalgic feelings to grow so I become a happier man in future. It's really bad I hear voices that Ustaz Harun want to work at my workplace at Amoy Street, it is maybe Alysha making a voice of guy then I dream of her voices with face of Ustaz Harun talking to me instead, it's really harsh why such thing can happen, it's like Satanic feelings like Satan witnessed Alysha's attack and copy what she meant into a dream. It's like impossible Ustaz Harun will work as dish-collector but I hear voices like that too bad for me. I feel energetic when I think of Ustaz Harun, I don't know why, it's maybe been many years but I feels short duration how many times I've gone to Mudik Ke Hulu to remove my tattoo but failed all the time, I hope before O level I will get my tattoos removed and finish my life like that, I'm so happy if it got removed but if I ever have no tattoo I will look super skinny anyway, it would be weird I think. I don't know why my life is like this like having tattoos first.
When I think again I still have 113 days left to go to be outside ward for 1 year, it's like 3 months+ to go, I don't know why I imagine nearing June then alot more heartbeat but it could be lack of cigarette causing this, it's really a bad feeling when I am reminded of my CleanMark Solutions working hard then only get $311.28 for 7 days of work, it's too little for the physical work I feel it's unfair to be penalized(money deduction).
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