Day 255 outside(303 on medications)

Tomorrow is my job trial, to tryout 4hrs 15mins at workplace, I hope it's smooth and not a lazy feeling, I remember last year was about the same or it was last 2 years I really loss my memory, that I work only for awhile to test for future plans if working for a long time, I really hope it's my "finally" here, planning to earn and save due to world war 3 and O level next year, I really don't know if I will be doing well but it's really only 4hrs 15mins I must really do my best. I hope the working feelings are like jobclub that lasts for 3 hours then I only have additional 1 hour to do here.

It's Sunday today but I regard it like a normal day feeling, I really feel like it's too fast to work but I want to save money like story of doctor, that I will work here for a long time. It takes so long for my memory to come back I really want to remember all but it's now about "working until October" something like that, I feel like I will work until December though. I hope it finishes quickly and I don't feel so bad at workplace.

Yesterday I wrote my journal about celebrating Dina's birthday and that's it, I feel like a pro writing journal hoping I would recover faster and my life growth becomes faster, I hope the pain ends tomorrow like a best job kind of vision in my mind, it will end the pain forever of being a useless man.