Today I dreamt a lot then it's too complicated to search for the meaning anyway but it's a dream that I forgot too, it's a scary feeling in the dream like a mixture but I don't know why I dreamt such thing. I remember last night I dreamt of Heryadi and Dildil my secondary school mates, their real faces that I forgot, it's weird it's too accurate like a sign that I am recovering fully will remember people's faces as well.
Today morning I woke up at 7.30a.m go to bath and smoke 1 roll, then go down and bought redbull and tobacco paper and smoke another 1 roll of 2 pieces paper, I feel satisfied how the end of smoking is happening to my life and I hope it happens, I will smoke again later around 8.45a.m or 9a.m as I worry my heart will be in fear due to shortage of cigarette and I want to be stable at work.
Today is Monday, people's first day of work of the week, and it's the same for me haha, I really want to finish this quickly and I definitely will enjoy my time at Maxwell I think, I hope I will do just fine and do a perfect job to last there for months, like story of doctor I will buy $5K envelope savings and tryout Mathematics by myself, I just remembered I maybe will try Physics and Chemistry too, I'm too excited how well will I do if I do it by myself next year? Is it with guide of doctor or I will do it on my own? I'm really happy I'm starting early and hope its true too that I don't give up in this job. I hope this job is my happy ending after so many years of no work like no loyalty at 1 job location then suddenly I am doing well in life.
I don't know who will guide me about O level but it's fine I guess, I just feel happy that I will work here permanently until end of the year or next year weekends, it feels like something I would give up but I remember anhedonia or schizophrenia could make me feel different about people or things in life, that it's a bad imagination, I hope all bad imaginations are not true.
I also remembered that I dreamt at a swimming complex where there's half naked girls(no top but wearing something bottom) that I claim it's wasted if marry them as many people have seen them half naked. It's a weird dream then suddenly a lot of people walk pass my location then 1 of them is Heryadi, then I tried enter elevator where there's a lot of people and blockage then Dildil inside the elevator, so we go up in elevator and I woke up from sleep. There's other dreams too that I forgot and I'm sad about not remembering them.
I remember last night I slept well then realized it's only 11p.m then 2nd time I woke up it's only 2.15a.m, it was fun being energetic that i have slept well imagining the next day as I will be having enough strength for work, it's only 4 hours anyway and I hope to do well at work.
No comments:
Post a Comment