Just now I smoke then I feel like vomiting due to the taste or flavour as bad then I decided to throw all my tobaccos and have none now, it's all like sandy and little and small, I think the end of smoking is real this time, even if I have no support or encouragement, I am doing it on my own. I hope I am fine, the energy to do O level on my own still around, then even today I feel like bringing Yassin to work to read in M.R.T, maybe doctor is right after all that I will become someone changed in October, I wonder who will guide me about O level, I have nobody that shows their psychic power to me but they either wait for me to question or else will treat me like a normal patient. I feel nothing special from doctors despite being their adopted son, I wonder why it's like that.
Just 30+ mins to go then I'm off to work, I'm really excited how it's only 4 hours then daily work like that like I can survive well at this workplace, I hope it's right that I will survive, and I hope it don't feel like a survival but a peaceful moment at work. I remember at Jobclub just from 9-10 at garden will feel like drinking water, so maybe at this workplace I will feel like drinking water too after 1 hour? I really don't know, I'm told to bring a water bottle then I'm just bringing the small bottle that I save for plain water, it's really important I guess, I hope I don't need to go toilet often, just now my shit is watery, I worry I get diarrhoea but I hope not and can settle everything fast if it happens, it's really bad my body condition always watery or diarrhoea, I don't know why its like that.
I'm happy that I will be okay doing this, it's only 4 hours anyway, wow finally a job that's short hours, then earning more than $1000 a month, it would be enough for me to feel stronger this year, I hope I don't get bored easily and complete it nicely, it's really a tough feeling as I imagine dishwasher I work from 1.30p.m to 5.30p.m feels quite tiring, then 2 more hours to go home, I hope it's like story of doctor that I will stay long at this job to continue working during my O level every weekend.
Today is supposed to be my happiest day but then I was occupied last 2 days like Dina's Birthday then only have Sunday to relax, it feels so fast then suddenly a working life instead, I feel they are treating me badly but I am surviving on my own, but the 4 hours energizes me back again as I'm reminded of jobclub only 3 hours then it feels fine, like a lot of rest, but I don't get money from jobclub anyway sadly, I will just do my best today for the Job Trial.
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