I'm just made to keep working in life then unsure if I will get my salary due to last 2 years and last year's salary I didnt get, then they made me work here again, I wonder why it's like this, why they put me at a place that I ever failed before? Today I feel like taking off due to diarrhoea but then I ate pulot today hopefully the sticky rice takes my diarrhoea away.
I wonder why Sakinah let me be in stress like not be someone heroic to my life, even Wahdiah and Shahridah didn't become someone heroic to my life, I wonder why the relationship is not meaningful, schizophrenia caused me to become like this like cut-off from any support then I don't have anyone I can rely on, just by my ownself sadly, I wonder why they let me live a difficult life instead of understanding schizophrenia as a physical pain that I experience in this mental sickness, it's weird people don't believe me the pain exist like a suffocation to my heart or torture to my mind and heart, it's so much anger and nobody cares. I don't know what to do my life is so hard, I really feel like quitting job right now, it's just a mess in my mind and my mental health.
Why nobody cares about me but let me continue living this way? I wasted my salary opportunities 3 times or more but they let me work at the same place over and over again, it's really crazy, it's like a binding into experiencing something bad on purpose, I really don't know what to do, why am I feeling like this too?
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