Focus on medications

I feel like doing this instead of working, but then penalty if I dont work anymore my money will be taken for the 3rd time? What for I work all these while if I don't get money for it? Why nobody is helping me out because they want me to sue doctor for doing that? I wonder such thing, how am I going to survive this bad working life? It's really hard I feel like I can't continue anymore. Today I have diarrhoea and I don't know if it's over, it feels like not over, it's only around 9.30a.m, it's really a high level stress my usual diarrhoea comes back into my life, I wonder why my body is like this, it's always like this since kids days, missing work too many times will be too much then I really think quitting is the best decision instead, I wonder why I'm made to feel like this in my life, yesterday was hard work and tiring but I continued working anyway, why nobody cares about me?

It's really difficult to be quiet without getting money is really harsh, to get a shut up is also harsh, it's weird the happiness of those that don't like me getting or having money maybe still lives on and nobody cares it's like that, that they are making my enemies happier, I don't understand this torture in my life, don't know why it's like this, why doctor blocks other jobs so I can't get a job to earn by myself? It's really difficult and I have to continue living life like this, there's no support to my life at all. It's 2 more days including today before the 1st pay cut off date, it's really harsh I don't know if I will be getting my salary too or not. I dont understand why all this kind of pain in my life, I really want a nicer life but people dont let me feel them, they rather I suffer and feel tortured instead, money is created to become a problem for them when it's actually not, I don't know why they are like this to me.

Today I'm going to msg to take off for diarrhoea or just quit the job I think, I really don't know why doctor's words don't match that I will go to work for full month. It really sucks.